Me, Myself and I

That's It For Me !

2008-05-07T07:58:00.001-07:00

Sooooo, what happens when you never pay a ticket ? Anyone know. Because I think I got a parking ticket the other day. I know you are all saying to yourselves right now 'she thinks she got a ticket ?' and yes, I am blonde.

Anyhoo, I had been visiting my mom at her work, and when finished, left on my merry way. Jamming out to some righteous tunage like 'Baby Don't Hurt Me, Don't Hurt Me, No More' - oh yeah, everyone knows the one. And it started to rain...... that was the beginning of the end for me.

So I am singing out loud in my vehicle, jerking my head about just like the movie 'Night At The Roxbury' as it is an automatic reaction for EVERYONE I am sure, when that song comes on, anyhoo I digress.

When finally I can no longer see because of the pelting down rain, I do as any responsible driver would do and turn on my windshield wipers.

That's when it happened......

In mid vocal and head shake I see something flap off of my windshield and flutter down the highway behind me and slap some other vehicle in the face........hmmmmmm.

Parking Ticket ? It would be safe to assume as I did not plug the meter. Dumb Ass ! Why didn't I plug the meter !

So now I am sure that they are looking for me. They will never break me ! I won't talk ! I have a family ! PULLLEEAAASSEEEE DON'T SEND ME TO JAAAAILLLLLL - Wahhhhhhhh !

Back After A Loooong Break

2008-04-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hellllooo Bloggers !!

As you can tell from my previous post.....that is, if you are looking even. It has been 8 months since I have graced you all with my words of wisdom, rants, ideas, and ramblings.

Just when you thought you got rid of me, I have returned ! Not quite sure what caused my little break there, other than 'life', I mean, I think we all go through stages in our life and ebb and flow through certain stages and cycles....... that is just about enough of that philisophical stuff from me !!!

So let's see.... hmmmmm, nope, not much going on in my life right now. Not that there ever was, but I am sure if I think long and hard I will be able to come up with something to jot down.........

.......... okay.. yeah, nothing yet.

...................................................................still thinkin'........

Ah, who am I kidding.

Can't Catch A Break

2007-08-31T01:02:00.001-07:00

Sigh..... at this exact moment, I pretty much feel like all fairness and luck has deserted us.

And, at the same time, I feel guilty for feeling that way. Because I know that there are people truly suffering more than I.

But at the same time, I wonder...... Why in the heck can we not seem to catch a friggin' break in life.

By this I mean, that, my husband and I have seemed to struggle since the day we met each other. Nothing has come easy, and everything, at a cost.

And just when I think that we are in a position that things might start looking up.... Life Kicks Us In The ASS !!!

I am tired of this........please take pity on me NOW.

The Darkest Hour

2007-08-29T22:57:00.000-07:00

I feel his breath upon my neck,

hot and dark, I wait.

He lurks behind each step I take,

still and cold, I wait.

Closer yet, he is upon me,

numb and scared, I wait.

It is the circle, we have made,

man 'gainst beast, I wait.

Crazy Ol' Lady

2007-08-16T21:20:00.001-07:00

Yup, that's right. Crazy Ol' Lady.

So, I have been at my new job for about a month. And as you might remember I used to work at a kennel, and many a blog revolved around the topic of dog poop. Exciting stuff, I know.

Anyhoo, here I thought that working in a natural medicine clinic, all my poo woes were out the window... or flushed down the toilet.... or whatever. Apparently not !

There is this little old lady that comes to the clinic about once a week. And as soon as I see her make her way up the walk. I know I am in for an ear full.

Now I try to be understanding, I really do. BUT C'MON !!! Just because I work in a clinic does not mean that I have the right or need to hear the most personal stories of your health. I am the friggin' receptionist.

Do I have a sign posted on my forhead or something that says : " Please, tell me all about your hairy growth on the side of your neck." Or any other number of ailments.

I digress. So back to the old lady making her way up the walk... well, she cornered me. And in her innocent little old lady way, proceeded to tell me that she had 30 bouts of diahrea that day and that she was just fading away. Please remember that this an old lady, which means that not only was she talking really loud, but repeating herself over and over.

Also, what killed me was it was in "old person speak" It was like this :

"You know Lisa, I've had 30 bouts of 'the diahera' today." Like you might say " the plague" or "the sickness"

Ahhh, sooooo. My shitty situations still prevail. HA HA shitty situations... I crack me up.

I am sure you will hear many a poo tale here yet. Who knows, maybe I will jazz things up with a story about a boil on someones back that burst in the office. Or better yet some weird rash.

Yup, you gotta love em', crazy ol' ladies.

Ahh, Camping

2007-07-30T22:39:00.000-07:00

Camping at Keefer Lake got off to a rough start I would have to say. The first thing I did when we got there and registered at the office, was miss the last stair on the way down, fall, and sprain my stupid ankle. It STILL hurts for cryin' out loud.

But, things got better. Wildlife was in abundance, we saw many deer, hawks, loons, chipmunks. And for the first time ever for me, a grizzly bear and a Moose with her calf !!! Fantastic !!!

The weather was so so, the fishing relaxing as always. The beer never tasted better.

All in all, not too shabby. Even if I did fall down in front of everyone, just about start crying and then swear in front of my kids and limp all weekend.

A Thing Of Beauty

2007-07-11T22:06:00.001-07:00

You should have seen me....a thing of beauty, pure grace and elegance.... NOT !!!!

My gawd !

First week of my new job at a Dr.'s clinic and what do I do ?????

In all my daintiness, make my way across the office, gently perch my derrierre ( aka Big Butt ) upon my desk chair and in a move only described as..........

TOTAL COMPLETE BULL IN A CHINA SHOP........ fell off my chair onto the floor with my chair clunking down on top of me.... #@^%!!!$

Oh yeah - in front of everyone of course too !

Wowie Wow Wow !

2007-07-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

I just saw this movie, and holy moly ! What a visually stunning one it was. Amazing. I was excited to go see it, because the trailers special effects looked awesome. I went in expecting some snazzy stuff and not a lot of "movie" But it was pretty good all around - there was some pretty cute and funny parts. Overall....... LOVED IT !!!!!

This is one I'll be buying.

Damn Mosquitos !

2007-07-04T22:47:00.000-07:00

Besides the rain, cold and mosquitos...it was a good camping trip.

It is amazing that an insect as tiny as a mosquito can wreak so much havoc.

I mean really, you either come away an itchy festering bump, or, with a third nipple from all the toxic spray you've been soaking in. Kinda lose, lose, I would think..... unless you're into the third nipple thing.

Anyway, I digress.

Which brings me to thinking - how come you can't HEAR the mosquitoes buzzing insesently around you in the daytime ?!?

Why is it that you can only hear them - when you are trying to sleep. And cannot see them to smash their little faces in anyway.

I think they do it on purpose, it is like their way of saying " Na Na Na Boo Boo - you can't get me !!! "

Not to mention the fact they know that they have worn you down already during the day from ingesting half your blood, and there is next to nothing you can do now.

Yup - tiny tiny creature, big big pain in the....

What Did You Say ?!?!

2007-06-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever mis-heard someone on the phone ? Yeah, well today was doozy... and it was at work of course, not to mention embarrasing. It was one of those ones where you are left sounding like a total idiot. Did I mention it was embarrasing ???

Now, before I go any further.. In my defense, working at a kennel I have heard so many different names that nothing phases me anymore, so I normally don't bat an eyelash when an unusal one comes up. Until today...

Here is how the conversation unfolds : (customer = C / Me = well, Me )

Me : Fortune Creek Kennels, Lisa speaking.

C : Hi, I would like to book my dog for boarding please.

Me : Sure, have you boarded here before ?

C : Yes.

( all pretty normal so far eh... well here is where things kinda turn for the worse)

Me : Ok, your dog's name ?

C : Crotch

Me : ( silence fills the air )....

Me : Uhmmm, Crotch sir ???

C : Yes

Me : Gee well we sure have heard some different names, but I have to say that this is the first Crotch we've had

( yes, I actually said that )

C: No, no, not Crotch.....Clutch... c.l.u.t.c.h.

Sigh, enough said..... literally.

Keepin' The Kids Busy

2007-06-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

I am a big believer in keeping the kids healthy and active. I tell ya, motherhood is a much easier job if the kids are tuckered out after plenty of fresh air and fun. It is a lot less stressful and there are a lot less fights.

Speaking of fights, what is it with siblings ! My gawd, no one told me about how much they would argue and bicker and nit-pick. Geesh ! I thinkt hat is the hardest for me. I am an only child, so it just seems horrendous to me, not matter how much everyone re-assures me that it is completely normal.

For some reason, my method of making them hug and say I'm sorry and love you after they fight is not working..........HHAHAHAHAHA no big suprise there eh !

Pics above are from a homerun of Chase's and Kayla climbing the rock wall during a field trip.

Good Times !

I'll Be Back

2007-06-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

Remember the Terminator... " I'll be back" and he was, and now, so am I.

I have decided that it is no excuse that I have been run off me feet for the past few months, there should always be time for a good blogging.

There is a lot of new things going on in my life too. I will be starting a new job, and of course the last two months of the school year can keep any parent running.

This evening when I get home after work and after basball practice and homework and showers and reading time.... I will settle into this chair and see if I cannot tape my eyelids open or something and get in a good blog. I will also catch up on the ones I have missed reading.

So everyone...... I'm Ba-ack !

I AM the exorcist

2007-02-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I have to turn into a monster before my kids will listen to me !?!

My kids are what I call 'normal' bad. They are not really bad, just act up once in awhile. But apparently they are DEAF.

I can ask one of them to do something and an argument ensues. Now I know that you all are thinking... who argues with a kid.........well, you all can just shush it....

So by the time that the argument is in full swing, I am fed up and turning red. Time to bring out the big guns ! I yell. Not just a normal yell either. It is a full on, neighbours can probably hear me, my head is spinning ( hence the exorcist ) spit is flying yell.

My kids just take a step back, blink, and then proceed to do whatever it is that I asked of them.

WHY IN THE HELLLLLLLLL DOES THAT WORK !!!!!

Let Dr.Phil explain that one to me.....might as well get the Supernanny in on this one too.

Walking Dead ?

2007-01-30T14:16:00.000-08:00

Sooo, I pretty much looked like this, this morning when I set out to work. Yeah, nice huh.

I guess that is what you start to look like when you work for a million days straight. Not to mention that even after the workday ends, you are so tired that you are not quite sure if you are actually alive or dead.

" Excuse me, lady ?" " "Can you please check my pulse, I think I am dead, yeah no, I am pretty sure." ........"No, still alive? ok then, carry on."

I mean who the hell works so hard that their belly button hurts. I am NOT getting paid enough for that kinda work. " So.... Heather sorry, I can't make it in to work today, I am having belly button issues." Probably won't fly eh.

Could you imagine if we ever used the truth for the days we want off.

Cramps,

Headache,

Hungover,

Just don't wanna,

I guess I am going to have to suck it up, in a few more days I will actually get one off....... no wait, I am working from my home that day......

Oh yes, I forgot to mention the fun that I had while working these million days (by myself)

* got bit in the face

* broke up a dog fight and had to take one to the vet

* lost a cat ( found it under a pile of mats )

* missed a customer coming in and had to drive 1/2 hr to go get it for her

oh...... Heather.... about that belly button thing...... I think it is pretty serious.

My Ode To The End Of Christmas

2007-01-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come, and Christmas has passed.

It is time to undo my button, at last !

Through all of the pastries, turkey and baking,

Batteries, lights, and bad picture taking,

Old smelly aunts, new socks, and gotchies,

Nattering family, wine and Tamagotchi's.

I have remained pretty sane, at least I think so....

Just don't ask my neighbour,

She caught me drinking in my robe a minute ago.

So what, I do say

It had to be noon somewhere, someday !!!

Now, that the fuss has finally died down,

the dust has settled, there's no jingle bell sound,

I think I can relax, the coast it is clear,

I can now settle in for a brand new year !!!!

Best Wishes to all in 2007 !!!

Drivin' Miss Daisy

2007-01-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

I think I may not be the 'driving' type. This comes after much reflection, sitting in yet another ditch this morning.

It is amazing how quiet it all is in the moments after careening around the icy road and landing in a snow laden ditch. Peaceful almost, if it were not for my shaky hands, rubbery knees, sobbing and some retarded song still singing away on the radio blissfully ignorant of my current situation. $#^%!!!#@!!.

Well, I limped the ol' SUV home, on what appeared to be two flat passenger side tires, and called in to let work know I would not be there today, because I am a tard.

Then, it dawned on me. This is the third time I have slid out of control, in as many years. Twice this year, and once a couple of years ago. That is bad enough. But if I delve even further into my driving history, well, sadly enough, it speaks for itself.

I digress..........

It began when I was 17, I was in the learning permit stage of my driving years, just a baby so to speak. I remember fondly starting up the car in the Pizza Hut lot only to high center the stupid thing on the parking curb that I failed to notice.

Then there was the time I was picking up Dean at work. Expertly executing a U-turn and parking on the other side of the road. But, a little close to the edge of the ditch I guess, since the car was tipped over sideways in it.

Hmmm, what about the time I drove away from the house in the winter with it still plugged in, and driving away with the cord dragging along with me.

Also driving away with the gas cap on the roof, oh yeah and my wallet up there another time. It was so nice of the guy stopped behine me at a red light to let me know.

I remember the day fondly, when a kind stranger saw me and stopped to let me know that oil does not get added to the dipstick hole. Let me tell you, that was a tip that came in damn handy !!!

I always have this cute beaded necklace that hangs from my rearview mirror that my daughter made me. I used to think that I used it to be able to identify my vehicle quicker in a parking lot. But maybe, after much consideration, it is more for others to recognize that I am coming and to get the heck outta dodge.

Keeping Up With The Times

2006-12-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so when did the Christmas lists for kids start to include all this stuff. My kids are 10 and 7, these are some of the things they asked for :

* computers ( we have one - they want one in each of their rooms )

* cell phones
* Xbox 360
* TV
Virtual this and vitual that, argghhhhh

Whatever happened to Mr.Potato Head and Light Bright. Maybe some Tinker Toys. Hell, I went to get some leggo for my boy, and apparently there are KINDS of leggo to get. IE - Batman ship. I was going to get him the big box until I saw the price and just about passed out on the floor. $150.00 for some friggin' leggo. Needless to say, I got the medium box.

But I guess in a way I caved ....... I just finished loading songs onto my kids mp3 players......

oh, I mourn the good old days of the Sony Walkman, with tape cassettes.

OMG !

2006-12-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

How can there only be 8 sleeps until Christmas ?!?

Where the h.e. double hockey sticks, did the time go ? Was't it just Easter ???????

Am I ready... NO
Will I ever be... NO
Will I enjoy every friggin' moment of it... YES!

I found myself this weekend in all the great Christmas environments ( not ! ) Wal-Mart, Canadian Tire, The Bay, Zellers, London Drugs etc. Needless to say they were horrendous. The lines were crazy, the Christmas music cheesey, the people shovey.

Between all the cart shoving, hot stores, and gimicks, the true meaning of Christmas does shine through to me. It is the.... BAKING !

LOL !!!

Crafty Boy

2006-12-12T22:17:00.000-08:00

You can imagine my suprise ( NOT ) when I opened my son's school planner, to see a note written from the teacher about an incident at school today.

How do you keep a straight face, and try to be a responsible parent in front of your boy, who know's you are reading the note, when it reads :

" Chase had to 'sit out' of Art today as he was eating the tissue paper for the craft. "

I looked at him, barely able to contain a giggle, when he looks up at me with his big blue eyes, and said..... " Mom, it made my whole mouth green ! "

How do you not laugh !

.... I was able to contain myself to a smirk and a couple of snorts. then proceeded with the responsible measures. His "screens" were gone for the day, and he had to write a little thing on why it was wrong. Which I had him come up with the reasons.

That's My Boy !!!!

Fighting A Losing Battle

2006-12-02T17:50:00.000-08:00

I finally broke, broke down and bought myself a pair of ankle height, lined, rubber boots :( LOL

I used to pride myself on shoes.

I LOVE SHOES

So for me to actually wear these things is an amazement in itself.

I mean, they're practical of all things. I don't do practical when it comes to shoes!

But I guess the dogs don't really care. And peep toes would have many a stubbings. Heels would snap, or slip on hair, shampoo, poo etc. Leather would be ruined by the water and cleaners. Heeled clogs would have me falling down and falling off while chasing said dogs. So what am I left with.......

Good Ol' Galoshes

Better star calling me Ellie May Sue or something like that.

Kids !

2006-11-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

Yeah, imagine the embarrasement at having to call in to work to let them know I cannot make it in, because my son's tongue is stuck to our fence.

Yup, that was me this morning. Not to mention that apparently in -30 C my jeep decided that it did not feel that it was necessary to be able to close the doors all the way.

But back to the tongue thing..... I would like to know how many hundreds of thousands of kids have done this very thing, even though parents have warned against it. And of course being forewarned, because the parents are usually part of the hundreds of thousands who have also done this very thing.

What is this ? A friggin right of passage or something ?
You are not truly Canadian until you too have frozen your toongue to a pole ?!?!

I mean seriously, what in the world posseses us to do such a thing. What, are you walking by, and think to yourself " Hmm, there is a frozen pole, I am going to go over there and lick it."

Not a smart idea, kinda dangerous actually, if you think about it.

How do you call for help with your face stuck to a pole. " ahhllpppp, uummmm, I ung ichh uck oo a ole. ahhllppp !"

Frozen Treat ????

2006-11-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

I found a new dog poop complaint.... Apparently, at -25 C it is just not your ordinary poo, but POOPSICLES !

I must have been there forever trying to get that off cement.

Sigh..... Welcome To My World.

And It Begins....

2006-11-26T22:42:00.000-08:00

Well, the first bit of snow fell yesterday. Yippee !!!

That is, until I had to drive in it.

Yup, those telephone poles seem to jump right out at you, I tell ya.

I think I had a heart attack for #@%$ sake.

It only snowed a bit too, it has snowed off and on all day today. So tomorrow should be loads of fun.

Yes, living in the country, sooooo nice. Especially since we are all supposed to be big tough farmers in our heavy duty tractor trucks out here, why the hell bother plowing the road until at least noon.

Can't wait to leave for work tomorrow morning..... Yeehaw !

Re-training Mission

2006-11-23T22:30:00.000-08:00

Seriously, this is what we need to teach the dogs at my work !

Could you imagine if it was the other way around.... I mean dogs having to pick up after their people, and wiping their bums !

Gawd, they have it made.

Now, if only I can come up with a way to teach them how to pick up their own poop. I have never picked up so much poop in my life, as when I have started working at a kennel. Well, I guess that stands to reason, but still !

Speaking of poop.... why does it seem like the dogs try to make a game out of it. Like, let's see who can poop in the weirdest spot, and watch Lisa try to pick it up !! They are probably soooooooo laughing on the inside.

Have you ever tried to pick up poo from the side of a chain link fence ? Can someone even figure out how they managed not only to poo there, but to get it to stay !!

How about inside the half a tire that they sleep in. Or in-between the rubber mats, so that you end up squishing it trying to get it out. My personal favourite, half inside the fence half outside.

Sigh... I could go on and on about poop, but I suppose it is probably not a topic that many want to read about.

I guess it is kind of ........... Shitty !!!

hahahahahah

Kumawna Wana Lei Ya

2006-11-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

...... NOT !!!!!!

I am actually talking about a kids birthday party here !

Talk about stress.

My daughter is turning 10 years old this Sunday, and as if that does not add enough stress by making me feel old, but I have to plan and make a tropical luau part a reality, for 9 pre-teen girlies.

The party of choice for my little girl, is a Hawaiian one, since her birthday is in between autumn and winter, and not much she can do for it in the way of events, since she is recovering from a broken ankle.

I, as the awesome, wonderful, bestest, coolest ( oops getting carried away ) mom that there is, said yes.

So I have been making the mad scrambles to the dollar store, wal-mart, etc.

I have come up with tropical decorations, lei's for everyone, plus a grass skirt for the birthday girl. There are umbrella straws for tropical ( non-alcholic EXCEPT FOR MINE - drinks ) Paper lanterns, hawaiian themed games. and I have even made a cd of hawaiian and beach party music. That is dedication !!!!

But you know what, all of these simple little things are about to give me a heart attack ! You would think I was planning a wedding for a King for heaven's sake !!!

I can't make her look like a dork. She has to come off as cool yet age appropriate. I want the other moms to think I am like the best mom EVER !

And all of this worry over 8 giggling, chattery, silly, pre-teenies. That will not even remember the event.

Sigh...... the stress of a mom.

What Do You Blog When........

2006-11-13T07:56:00.000-08:00

What does one blog about, when there is nothing to blog about at that moment.

I mean, for some reason, you feel obligated to have a new and witty post at least every couple of days. Lest you let down your legion of fans that read the blog - lol.

So..... I am at that point this very minute. Nothing new and witty in my life at the moment. So what to write ?

Well, then I came up with the brilliant ( hee hee hee ) idea to blog about nothing. Nothing in particular anyways.

It would be interesting to see how big of an entry one can post about nothing, Especially since "nothing" can be either small or huge in your life. "Nothing" can mean alot of things.

When I sat down at the computer and placed my hands on the keyboard, I said to myself, "Self, just take a deep breath, relax and let my nimble fingers guide me."..... They kind of just sat there for a moment, as if to say ok dummy so what are we going to write about. Then, slowly at first, they started, as if they had a mind of their own. I guess that is how this is taking place right this very moment.

I did not know that fingers had so much to say about nothing.

I wonder if that is how they saying " Much Ado About Nothing" came about.

Well, all this nothing is starting to wear me out, plus I do not want to be late for work, and my excuse be "nothing". So I am off into the world of something.

Speaking Of Funny Pets...

2006-11-07T23:18:00.000-08:00

I read a blog entry today about a funny kitty, it reminded me of my silly little guy Buddy. Tonight when I was done using my heating pack, he decided that it might make his back feel better too !!!

Cats Suck ! ( Sorry Nicole )

2006-10-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

I know you all are cursing me right now, but you did not have my day.

Today, I experience being bitten three times ( through skin ) and scratched up.

AND I AM NOT EVEN A CAT OWNER !!!!

We had 4 cats to groom today, and 3 of them were sadistic little bastards. Sigh.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that one of them pissed and shit itself, on the table....... Good Thing I Ducked !

Man, they are the squirmyest, rubberyest, little things, I tell ya. It felt like they were made out of silly putty at some points. And I sure as hell would like to be able to turn my head around 180 degrees !!!

Now, I am an animal lover, but these were persian cats. From a breeder and everything, some of them "show quality".... Well "show me the ugly stick is more like it" !!!! Man those things are not graced with cuteness.

One had such a short pallet that his tongue would not fit all the way it, so the tip of it just stuck out all the time.

Another has such a pushed in face that his nose was completely flat, and his nostrils were two little lines, that did not even open.

Then there is the bungy out eyes. Sheesh, these poor creatures do not have a whole hell of alot going for them......

except maybe the fact that they bite and scratch like hell !

The Great Pumpkin Patch Charlie Brown

2006-10-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures I took at the Pumpkin Patch this past weekend. It was time for the annual search for the "perfect" pumpkin.

You know what I like about the search for "THE" pumpkin ? Well, lemme tell you.

It is the fact that everyone's idea about the perfect pumpkin is different. Some people prefer tall ones, some others lumpy ones. they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

Everyone can walk through a pumpkin patch and envision their piece of Halloween creativity coming to fruition.

My son for example always has to find a green one. My daughter, the biggest one. My husband the weirdest. I myself tend towards the roundest ones...... I wonder why that may be ? HAHAHAHAH.

But no matter what they look like on the outside they are all the same on the inside....

Stinky, Slimy, #%@!!% Goddamned Messes That I Have To Scoop For Everyone !!

The moral of the story... no matter what it seems on the outside, it is the inside that counts......AND it is always the mom left holding the bag.

Daily Shower

2006-10-21T13:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, the perils of work. I am afraid I am turning into a prune.. I am soaked from head to toe everyday, from the bathing of dogs. This, despite the fact that I wear an apron etc.

Then, on top of the wet, you have the hair. Because what would be wet without having hair to stick all to it.

Yes, so, by the end of the day I pretty much look like a wet hairy dog myself. LOL.

Oh yes..... and smell like one too. A wet one !

But for once I can say....... I Love My Job !!!

Happy Turkey Day

2006-10-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

Thankgiving has arrived !

I have not posted in awhile as I have been busy at my new job and with bookings at home too :) I am pretty wiped at the end of the day, but that is a good thing.

Although, how come it seems like on a longweeked you never take time to relax, oooohhh noooooo. Instead we decide that is the best time to do all that stuff that gets missed.

And of course, me being me, it usually intails injurying myself in some oh so dainty ( NOT ) way.

Well, this one involved a TV falling on my head ! Oh it is OK, it was not our BIG one, but you never would've know it. That stupid little thing must have been made out of cement.........wait....... maybe it is my head !!!!! hahaha.

Anyway, then as I sat with my icepack on my head, I decided it would be a good idea to kick over my glass of diet orange soda. Yup, Whooo Hoooo. That way I was able to test out my new stain remover.......

But dinner was great ! I didn't even cook the bag of giblets and necks and stuff this year !!!!!!!

Zoo Day !

2006-09-18T23:13:00.000-07:00

Some of the pictures I took during my outing to the zoo on my trip :) Eeeee!

I'm Leeeaaving On A Jet Plane

2006-09-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

I am very excited. Now, it does not take too much to make me excited. But this is a good one !

I am leaving on Thursday to visit my friend. I will be staying for 3 sleeps ( yes I know I count days like a child - it is habit )

This is my first "get away" by myself, AND, that isn't camping. Yeeehawwww.

I will get to get in a good visit with My Sista ! And see her side of the tracks finally.

I will not be able to sleep between now and then. And if I follow my normal routine, such as nearing Christmas times. I will find myself the morning of leaving broken out in hives, and having to take gravol because I am so anticipating it, that I made myself queasy.

Now That Is Excited !!!!

One Of Those Days

2006-08-31T15:58:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo having one of those "good days". You know the ones... the ones when you feel you "got your sexy on"

When you say to yourself when you pass by the mirror "girfriend, you still got it"

I might not have "it" like I used to have "it", but I still got a little somethin' in me left.

It is one of those days where, my hair turned out good, my makeup is good, my clothes look good. Now I am ready for a night out.

I wonder if my "feelin' kinda sexy is because of the couple of drinks I have already had......... ???

I Am Sooooo Getting Older !

2006-08-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

Sigh, you know you are getting older when you start to dread the next day's event. When you were younger, you would look forward to it with boundless energy.

Not so anymore. I am starting to grow up I am afraid.

Tomorrow is the annual fall fair. I have been to this fair every year. I am taking my kids and neice. Now, I should be all excited to see the kids smiles and screams and blah blah blah.

But noooooo, what am I thinking ?

* "Gawd my feet are going to be so sore by the end of the day"

* "It better not be too hot, because if I have to stand there in the heat I don't know what I'll do."

* "It better not rain either, because then I'll be left there standing in it."

* "The kids better listen to me or there'll be hell to pay."

It used to be that we would feel so cool if we went to the fair at night time. Now, not only do I refuse to go at night and wander with all the teenagers and creepy people. But, I am going the first day it opens ( tomorrow ) which also happens to be Seniors Day. So it should be relatively calm. I will be there as soon as the midway opens, before the heat and the crowds. Even if the crowds are old people.

Now that I am feeling the affects of my aging ( I am 30 ) I also worry more :

Are the rides safe ?

Will the kids die on one ?

I can't let them eat too much junk, that is not good,

Who are these people running the rides ?

Am I going to get mugged ?

Why do all the ride people smoke, have missing teeth, and lots of tattoos ?

Can I hold it all day, because there is no way I am entering one of those washrooms.

It goes on and on.......

So, tomorrow is fair day - Wheeeeeeeeeeeee !

I Just Don't Get It

2006-08-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

I really don't get it sometimes. How someone can become so drunk and ornary. I mean, not to say that I have never had more than my share. But I always seem to maintain a happiness about me, and can still function. I don't resort to hurting others, or anything. If anything, it becomes a bother, feeling like you have to babysit the other.

I had to "pack" my significant other home tonight. I mean we are talking completely holding him upright, and everything. But apparently this was the wrong thing to do and it was all MY fault.

This gets tiresome.

There is a nice feeling about having a few drinks and relaxing and having a good time. But getting carried away is so blase.

I am sick and tired of this charade. It has happened way too many times.

Sigh, what to do ?

Money Makes The World Go 'Round

2006-08-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

I saw the kee-uuu-test little plant at Wal Mart yesterday. !!

I was sooo excited. It looked just like the picture here. I know it is kinda silly to get excited about a plant, but I love finding different ones, that I have not seen before.

So, I snatched up this little guy, and cool new pot, and some soil. Eeeee. Could not wait to get this little fella home and find a spot for it. It should be pretty easy as I ONLY have 10 indoor plants right now.

I found out on the way up to the till that this little guy was a " Money Tree". Well, now I knew it was fate. I NEED MONEY, maybe this new plant was meant to bring me luck !

So I sauntered up to the till, with my little present to ME, and as I proudly watched her ring it through, I just about dropped. My little plant here it seems was $14.00 dollars !!!!!! For a friggin little 4" potter. I sheepishly asked to put it back.

Hmmpphhh, No wonder it was called a goddamned MONEY TREE.

Here I Go !!!

2006-08-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I am almost completed the modules in my dog grooming course. After I finish the two that are left, complete a memory exam, and submit a couple more subject photos. I will have earned my diploma (hopefully w/ honors)

But, the exciting news that I just received is that I got a job !!!! As a groomer at a kennel/grooming facility. They know I do not have the practical experience and they are willing to train in that area. Also, the training would be by a "Certified Master Groomer"

They are allowing me to start in September, when the kids are back in school. I also can work my hours around the school hours, and can choose how many days I would like to work. How much better does it get than that.

I am excited about finally having a personal goal and acomplishing it. Regardless of how it was viewed by certain others. I might even say I am proud of myself.

Now let's just hope that I am a good at the practical experience, and can stay on. Because if not I would have to open a shop and call it "Bald is Beautiful"

The Real Reason People Go Deaf

2006-07-30T04:25:00.000-07:00

Well, the real reason that people go deaf, is not old age. Oh no no no no, my friends, the real reason we begin losing our hearing is a thing called.....

Summer Break !

Is that word synonomous with children taking it up a billion decibles ?

I have witnessed both of my children in the classroom, sitting quietly, politely waiting etc. But that all seems to go out the window the day the last bell rings, indicating their two months off.

I am sure that while the kids are playing, and they all gang up in their little herd, that the entire neighbourhood can hear them. Regardless of what they may be playing. They could be playing Hide and Seek ( the ultimate in being quiet and sneaky ) and you can hear them a mile away.

Everything seems to get louder : the TV, the Stereo, the talking, the singing, the yelling. Crikey, even the sleeping !!!!!

Along with all this loudness, you feel yourself being sucked up and swallowed by it. Like a nice blade of flowing grass being mowed down by the super charged lawn mower on a Sunday morning at an ungodly hour.

I have finally decided that if you can't beat em' ( literally ) ( no just kidding ) ( I think ) anyways...... if you can't beat em', join em' ! Fight Back I Say !!!!!!

So, I find myself yelling over top of them whenever I may need the attention of someone. Or, stopping the entire herd with a bloodcurdling " HEYYYYYY !!" Just to freeze them in their tracks and nab the ones that are mine.

Then there is the ineviatable meal times that are required at regular intervals, or else they get even louder, whinier, cryier.
This I find a special task on it's own. I have had to develop a certain call with a certain pitch, similar to having to use a hunting call, in order to make myself heard throughout the entire neighbourhood.
As I step out onto my stairs, take a deep breath, And....... "CHAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE....... KAYYYY-LLAAAAAAAA" LUUNNNCHHHHH TIIIIIIME !!!!!

Like I said. If you can't beat em'...... make sure your louder then em'

Just So Ya Know

2006-07-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

We have made the discovery that when broken these can stain.

As witnessed by me, when tucking in my son to bed. I turned off his light, and his carpet was glowing, his end table was glowing, his sheets were glowing, his pillow was glowing.

And

HE WAS GLOWING

When Did It Fade ?

2006-07-10T10:36:00.000-07:00

You used to always hold my hand,
my heart does not understand.

Why you have turned away,
A place in your mind so far away.

Looks my way have all but ceased,
I'm filled with loneliness, instead of peace.

A kind word, a caring touch,
Have all faded so much.

My heart is empty, feels so old,
Remembering a love gone cold.

When did we, choose separate ways,
To be more friends than our loving days.

Sands Of Time

2006-07-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

Sifting through the sands of time,
Unsure of what, I may find.

Tiny grains, of memories
Each a part of what's to be.

Sifting through the sands of time,
Bringing everything, back to mind.

Though mostly dull in color you'll see,
An odd grain here and there will be,

A sparkling fleck, so crystaline,
A memory so precious and fine.

Memories, that will set me free,
From deep, held, misery.

Sifting through the sands of time,
Trying to grasp, as they slide by.

Waterslide Day !

2006-06-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

Well, today is waterslide day for the kids at school. A great way to celebrate the end of the school year.

This is the one and only field trip I refuse to participate in each year.

Somehow I do not relish the idea of squeezing myself into something that resembles a bathing suit. Whilst my glow in the dark skin be subjected to our 35 degree celsius heat wave. Only to return home looking like a lobster and sporting waterblisters burned into my skin, and not being able to sit or wear clothing for days.

Or maybe it is something to do with the fact that there are hundreds of little heathens running around ( mine included ) who seem to have lost all sense of control, and run by not worrying who they have tripped over, run into, stepped on, or yelled into their ear.

One thing is for sure, even though I am not joining in all this FUN, I am sure to have some suprises upon my children's return.

One will return home with only one shoe. We will have someone else's towels. The newly bought beach umbrella will be broken. My son will have some kind of scape. There will be sunburn, along with promises that they put it on about 100 times. And something will have been left there, which will warrant a return trip there to retrieve it.

Ahhhh, a relaxing day at the waterslides. Bliss.

Performance

2006-06-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weekends were taken up with dance recitals. I know for people who do not have children involved it may seem like a boring way to spend ones time. Kind of like watching a grade 7 class band massacre the "Na-na Na-na, Na-na Na-na, Hey Eh Eh, Go-od Bye song.

These however were especially good. The recitals were very professionally put together, the sound was great. Music choices excellent, and dancing superb. And I am not just saying that because my daughter dances.

She is training in Highland Dance, something different, as last year was tap dancing. This is a very physically demanding type of dance, and she is loving it. After seeing the other dances in the production, she has decided to try jazz as well. It is an area where I believe she will be great at as well.

So, jazz class here we come ! I just hope the shoes are not as hard to lace and tie as the Highland ones.

Doggone It

2006-06-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the type of hat my dog should be wearing !

He WILL NOT go outside to go do his duty, because it is raining. I am sure that he must be close to bursting by now. He has not gone since last night.

God forbid he get a drop of rain on him, ugh that would be the worst. Instead he just barks at the door, and as soon as I open it he turns and slinks away.

I knew I should not let him have his own glass of water on the end table. I think it has gone to his head. Maybe he has forgotten he is a dog ?

Dirty Jobs

2006-06-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

There is a program on Discovery Channel called "Dirty Jobs". The host of the show visits and tries some of the most "dirty" jobs around. Things like, Septic Tank Cleaner, Pig Inseminator, Exterminator, just to name a few. However, I have noticed that he has repeatedly missed one of these "dirty jobs" that is, Parent.

Yup, I said Parent. Scoff if you will, but I am one and I am here to vouch that it can be the dirtiest of all jobs.

It all begins in the first few days of bliss with your newborn baby ( bliss, who am I kidding ! ) You are lovingly staring into your baby's eyes as you change the tiniest little diaper you have ever seen, when they choose that exact moment to pee in your face.

Or how about the time you are in a store with your toddler, so proud that you no longer have to carry a diaper bag, extra clothing, and all the gear. And as your child runs merrily in front of you, you notice something drop out of their pant leg. Only to discover in horror that they have #2'd in their pants.

Maybe, it is about the time you found out that diapers are not leak proof,while you are wearing your new WHITE shirt, nor do they stop the poop from going straight up their back almost to their neck.

Then there are the days when your poor child is sick with the flu, and you spend endless nights cleaning vomit from every surface (including yourself) within a 20ft radius.

Ever tried prying a pea from a child's snotty nose, that can be a pretty dirty job indeed.

And for those of us who are squeamish, there is no handing off the job to another employee, we must deal with the many scrapes, cuts, blood, nosebleeds, gashes and broken bones.

You think that once they have grown into their teenage years that you have made it into the clear, no more "dirtyness". That is until you must sit down with your child and explain the facts of life, in great detail, because they have way more questions than we ever did. If that does not bring about a queasy stomach I don't know what else will.

Yes, Parent. One of the "dirtiest jobs" ever.

Awww

2006-06-02T10:07:00.001-07:00

My sister-in-law just brought me this little cutie she found abandoned this morning. To nurse while she is at work. I think I am falling in love.

Ouch

2006-05-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

Arrgh !

I burned my tongue on a stupid drink of Hot Chocolate this morning !

I have not done this in a long, long time. Probably since I was a kid. Now I remember why I hated it soooo much.

It feels like my tongue is a piece of bread. And I cannot stop running it along the roof of my mouth.Euuck.

Sigh, that's my big exciting story for the day.......

Solved My Weeding Problem

2006-05-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

Well, my "office butt" has manged to solve my weeding dilema, which I mentioned in a previous post.

I have found this neato, convenient, easy ( although not eco-friendly ) POISON !

And let me tell ya, did I ever give those pesky things a soaking today !

I felt like something from an action movie, mowin' down the bad guys !

Now, we will just give it a few days and find out if I have also killed my lawn....flowers......trees......shrubs....birds......

Happy Ending

2006-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

Our community heaved a collective sigh of relief yesterday morning. Carmen was found, alive !

Unlike so many news stories you hear, this had a happy ending.

Thursday morning around 5:00am Carmen was found by police. They also have a male suspect in custody.

Through the dilligence of the police, search and rescue, dogs, helicopter, and volunteers this little girl can be reunited with her family and friends.

Too Close To Home

2006-05-17T23:42:00.000-07:00

My community is in a state of shock, as we have learned that one of our own has been subjected to something so horrible. This little girl attends the same school as my children. I ask God, Why ? Let us pray for the safe return of Carmen, and peace for her family. Now is the time we must pull together and bring this child home.

Police in the North Okanagan community of Armstrong, B.C. fear an 11-year-old girl who went missing on her way home from a video store Tuesday night has been abducted.

Carmen Kados left home on her scooter to pick up a video in the downtown area of the small B.C. Interior community of Armstrong, which was within walking distance of her home.

"We are fearing the worst and it appears to be an abduction of some sort," Cpl. Henry Proce of the Vernon RCMP detachment told The Canadian Press Wednesday.
"Our forensic ID unit is on the scene right now where she dropped some of her possessions."

He added that it appeared something distracted or stopped her while she was cutting through a parking lot. She left behind some possessions, including her scooter and a "Chicken Little" video she rented and her cellphone.

Police described Carmen as having blonde, shoulder-length hair and blue-green eyes. She was last seen wearing a blue T-shirt, light blue shorts and green sandals.
She left her home at about 7 p.m. local time. When she didn't return two hours later, her mother called 911 and family members went to search for the girl.

The RCMP Southeast District major crime unit were called in to assist the Armstrong detachment and they have set up a command post in the community.
Proce told CP about 12 investigators and 60 search and rescue people were on the scene, and police were "pulling out all the stops on this one."
"We've had our helicopter here, we've got two dog masters here, but they need to be pointed in the right direction. They need something to follow up on, but that hasn't been too forthcoming as yet," he said.

Investigators fanned out from the parking lot where Carmen disappeared, but the town is situated in the Spallumcheen Valley and surrounded by farm land.
"This is rural land, farm land, rolling hills, they're all over the place here," Proce said.
CTV Vancouver's Renu Bakshi said police have received a number of tips from the public.

"One tip came through Crime Stoppers, which from my understanding is quite significant. (Police) said within 24 hours they will also be speaking with known sex offenders who live in the area," she said.

Employees at Video Express, where Carmen rented the video, said they were concerned about Carmen's safety.
"We're worried. We're hoping for the best," clerk Sherry Aikin told CP.

With files from CTV Vancouver's Renu Bakshi and The Canadian Press

Now This Here's What They Call An R.V. - To Quote Cousin Eddie

2006-05-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Well, we brought this puppy home from Kamloops on Saturday.
Our new (to us anyway) old, tent trailer.

It is like heaven lookin' at her. No more friggin' tent. I tell ya, we have fairly big tent and I don't think that with two kids, a dog, your gear, and leaky air mattresses, coupled with rain and being stuck in their playing "Go Fish" until you suffocate in the carbon dioxide your breathing at each other..that any tent can feel "big" enough.

I mean c'mon, what is with a tent that even if you don't drink you come crawling out of there in the morning looking and feeling like you have been on a bender ! Gawd. Then there was the time that I actually was a bit....... ah, I better not go there.

So even if I might be considered a "red neck" with our newly aquired camping apparatus, I don't care ! I am going to be dry, I don't have to sleep on an air mattress, and I will be able to beathe : oh yes and the most important thing.... I CAN STAND UP TO GET DRESSED !!!

Have you ever tried to get dressed in a tent on an air mattresses? First trying to stand up and balance on the stupid thing, and then crashing down to the ground and sweating while you roll around trying to reach your feet to put on some socks. MAN THAT SUCKS.

Then there is the thing with our kids insisting that one of us each sleeps with a kid. So then you have an unbalanced mattress. I think we almost shot them out of the tent when we layed down.

So, it might not be new, it might be considered "not real camping" But I am too old to try and crawl my ass out of a tent and expect to be in a good mood the rest of the day.

So, Yeeeeehhhaaawwwww. Look out Griswald's 'cause here we come !!!!!

Beware.....

2006-05-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

I Damn Near killed myself today.....

you can all stop giggling because I know you are.... you sadistic little buggers.

Anyways, as I was saying. I had a near death experience. True.

Here I was, innocently making way into my bathroom to put away some toiletries, when my life flashed before my eyes.

Instantly I was on one foot, arms flailing, eyes huge, heart racing ! I sailed past the towel bar and instinctively reached out for it. Lot a good that did me, as it ripped off the wall and landed with ME in a flat backed HEAP on the FLOOR !!!

Holy crap !

All I can say, is that apparently, you are supposed to wash your bathroom floor BEFORE all the hair spray builds up and creates its own death trap !!!

Soooo Not Cut Out For This

2006-05-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I have pretty much figured out that I am useless at this manual labour stuff. I think that there have been too many years of "office butt" and they have won out.

I tried my hand at raking this weekend. Sounds easy right ? NOT !

I got a callous, my back is seized up, and my forearm aches.

Then I got bored...... this was 10 minutes in.

So I thought I would get around to all that weeding I have meant to catch up on........Apparently pulling off the tops of the dandilions, so you can't see the yellow, is not "weeding"

Geeze - talk about being picky.

Then I gave trimming a couple of cedars a try........ there was SPIDERS in there !!!!
So NO DEAL.

So, I think I have pretty much resigned myself to watering the flowers and strawberries, feeding the birds, and bringing my husband a beer when needed.

Also, I have given myself the position of " Point things out that need to be done, while I watch you do them." or " Boss" for short.

Where The Wild Things Are

2006-05-04T15:26:00.000-07:00

I know where they are.........

In My House
At School
In The Playgrounds
In The Backyard
Talking To Me Under The Bathroom Door
Sitting On The Edge Of The Tub While I Bath
Fighting In The Car
Shoving Through The Gate
Yelling Outside

In general stuck to me like glue !

But...... I Love It !!!

Bullies

2006-05-02T10:33:00.000-07:00

These guys are bullying all the little birds at my feeder !!!

This would be a mild day. There are normally so many on the feeder at once that they just about knock it over, and my feeder is NAILED to a wooden fence post !

I am going to have to spend my life savings on seed, just because these piggies polish off the whole thing in two days.

You can see it all go down. Early in the morning, the little chickadees and finches come out singing their soft song. And BLAMO !!! In swoops the mafiosa. They just shove their way through, scaring off all the other guys. Hmmppffffff !

Good Thing I Am An Animal Lover I Tell Ya !!

2006-04-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am in charge of watering our lawn, which we have a fair amount of. I would enjoy this job if I could EVER FIND A SPRINKLER THAT DID NOT BREAK !!!!

As you can tell I have built up a bit of a rage about this issue.

I would love to have underground sprinklers and be done with all this hose, sprinkler, moving them around business. Especially when there are watering restrictions and I have to try to get all my lawn watered in the allotted time.... oh yeah.. and our bazillion trees.

Anyways, not until last night, was it brought to my attention that I have my own " sprinkler language" oh yes indeed. In fact I think I baffled my husband with this new language.

Coming in ( drenched as usual, as I can't seem to do this job without somehow spraying myself in the face ) I came to tell my husband my watering woes for the evening. Here is how it went :

Me : " Sigh, well, I think the ch ch ch ch ch flllllpppphhht sprinkler has bit the dust."

Husband : " The ch ch ch ch ch flllppphhht ???? "

Me : " Yeah, you know the one. It is only going so far then it sticks in one place."

Husband : " Oh "

Me : " Errgghh ! I only wish that I could last a couple of years with out having to buy more stupid sprinklers." " I saw that one in Canadian Tire that is supposed to creep along your hose and do all your watering"

Husband : " Oh " ( eyes on hockey game )

Me : " It won't work for us though, it is one of those twirly doo's with the two streams, and they do not have enough water output."

Husband : " twirly doo ??????? "

Me : " Yeah, so now all I am left with is the fffssssssttttttt one and the stick one."

Husband : "huh ???????"

Me : " Gawd, are you even listening to me, you know what the hell I am talking about you just won't pay attention because stupid hockey is on. Don't even talk to me."

Husband : looking at me bewildered

Me : WHAT !!!!?????

Husband : Silence and a shake of the head

Me : "Fine, I won't even talk to you about it.......maybe I will just get one of those swiiiisshhhhh swiiiissssshhhh ones, maybe it would work.

Husband : " Yeah try one of those hon, I am sure whatever you pick will be just fine."

Me : " hummphh, you don't even care. "

So, that was my night...........

The Light

2006-04-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

An Angel gazes down at me,
A warmth fills my being.

My heart and soul they tell me,
It is true, what I am seeing.

Pain and despair slip from me,
And serenity fills my being.

Pet Him And Squeeze Him And Call Him .... Nancy ???

2006-04-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

Now, we all remember the classic spoof on " Of Mice And Men" that Looney Tunes created. The unforgettable Abomidable Snow Guy with Bugs in hand, reciting "I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George." Much to ol' Long Ears chagrin.

Well, the snowy character have been re-born.... in the form of..... My Neice !!!!

Now, let's not leave out the fact that my neice I am refering to is only 2 1/2 years old....

Needless to say, her family has aquired to new cutey kitties. Now, my neice is not the most delicate of toddlers to say the least. But what she lacks in delicacy she makes up in dedicated love and spirit.

As soon as I saw her with the kitties, I have been wondering how long they would "make it" It soooooooooo reminds me of the above pictured skit.

Picture this : 8 week old kitty, carried around by the neck, " But Auntie !!! I am just cuddling him !!!. I have learned not to correct her too often in a short period of time, as this results in a big squeezing of the kitty acompanied by a two year olds emphatic Huuumph !!!!!!

What amazes me is how quickly the two kitties adapt. One has chosen to go into hiding whenever she appears, the other has accepted the fate of being loved, possible to death.

It just contentedly sits in the pink dolly stroller, being raced around the house, with the odd crash here and there. Or being rocked to sleep, oh so gently.

Lenny, from the novel "Of Mice and Men" move over and make way for my Neice and " Of Kitties and Toddlers"

I HATE Grocery Shopping !

2006-04-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

It seems like such a waste of time. I just wanna get in and outta there, but that never seems to happen. It always has to be a 2 hr. ordeal involving more than one store.

I think they ( you know, the famous "they" ) are out to get you, and make it impossible for you to shop for evrything at one place and not spend your life savings.

Then there is the people. Can you get out of my WAY !!! I am not there to meet up with my friends in the middle of the aisle and block the way for those of us trying to complete a mission, which appaprently is why the rest of you came. It is like they don't undersand that only two carts can fit, and when I am standing there patiently with a pleasant grin plastered on my face, that really I am thinking " You stupid morons, get the hell outta the way " " Can't you see that I have kids that are on the verge of World War III "

Now, no offence or anything, but for you elderly people. I understand that you are arthritic, and have to shuffle, and have trouble seeing, hence examining labels for weeks on end. BUT CAN YOU MOVE TO THE FREAKIN SIDE OF THE AISLE. There is no need to park it right in the middle. Then when I politely, with plastered grin on my face as mentioned above, I ask you to please excuse me... Don't look at me like I am from another planet and that you honestly thought there was no one else in the store. That is, after I repeated myself about 4 times because you are hard of hearing.

I have learned however, not to take my children with me grocery shopping, that is unless I am actually wanting someone to call child services. Because, as I am bent towards child. Angrily whispering that for the 5th time, NO, we cannot have Chocolately Sugar Ball Marshmellow Treasure Suprise Puff Ball Cereal for $9.00 a box. And squeezing an arm, I am drawing quite a few looks. I am also ready to yell " what are you lookin' at ! " And pull an Exorcist type move with my head.

Then inevitably, there is the point when you are done, and are half finished uloading your cart, when you remember that ONE thing that you specifically wanted and of course forgot, so you have to perform the sprint of a lifetime, while in the worst shape of your life, grab the item, race back, and try to act like you aren't really out of breath from that short burst of activity.

I think this one only happens to me : It never ever ever fails that I get the "In training - please be patient " teller. The one that has to check the code for just about every item with the teller across the way. The one that when finally, all items are entered, accidentally hits some button on the till that freezes up the computer, and no other person can figure it out. Except that is, the regional manager, who is the only one with keys to the till. After about 10 minutes he floats to the till, magically performs some feat that amazes the tellers, and all is well with the till. To the cheers, and claps of the other tellers. Right now I am about ready to VOMIT.

All that fun, and it only cost me $270.00

Booyah !

Long Long Ago

2006-04-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

Long long ago, before the kids. One of our first camping excursions was to Wells Grey Provincial Park in Clearwater, BC. Here is the tale of our adventures ....

We had decided that we were going to camp for five days in our tent ( mistake # 1 ) After driving into the campground, we realized that the attractions were very far apart, and required driving to. The hikes we were planning on, were full day treks, which we were not properly equipped for. So we decided an alternate itinerary.

First was Hemleken falls - absolutely beautiful. It is the 4th highest waterfall in Canada. It was stunning from the tourist area. But of course, that was not good enough of a view for Dean. We decided to hike in from behind the falls. As we are coming up on them you can hear the water, feel the mist. Ahhhhh, then all of a sudden you break through the trees, and you are practically at the mouth of the thing, standing at the edge of a SHEER DROP !!! I think I started crying.

After that little adventure, we decided to hike in to Ray's Farm. It is the ruins of a historic pioneer homestead. Sooooo cool. Following the trail in, we realized how vulnerable we really were, when alongside of us we could hear something rustling around in the brush, making its way toward us. I mean this is no soft rustling, it is almost crashing. We froze. For certain it was a bear and death was knocking on our door, and us two idiots don't even have so much as a can of bug spray, to mace his ass. Closer and closer it came, we just looked at each other with fear in our eyes. All too soon it was upon us !
Godamned Skunk ! I was so relieved and mad all at the same time I could have kicked that dirty little rodent !

Next was Trophy Mountain Meadows, we got lost. That is all I am going to say about that one.

It is only the second day, and we have run out of bug spray. The layers we have applied apparently have not been enough. We are covered in the spray from head to foot. The itching in my hair is about driving me nuts, and I am starting to feel a little tight in the tummy, because there is no way I can make myself # 2 in the dirty little outhouse.
SIGH. Well, since we know we are here for another 3 days, we head partway into town to a lodge we saw that had a convenience store to pick up some bug spray. After paying some obscene price for the bug spray we noticed that the store is not the only thing they have there. They have a SALOON !!!!!! Yahoo ! It was like $13.00 bucks for a Paralyzer, but what the hell ! We needed it. The rest of the night was ok, until night fell. As I lie in the tent, I am awakened by something in our site. OH gawd, it brushes up against the tent. Shit, it is in the bag of chips I left on the table ( we are supposed to keep all food in the trunk of our car ) I muster all the courage I have, grab the flashlight, and make my way outside to face the intruder. There was not one but 3. I was out numbered. I made my way to the picnic table and saved the Doritos from the two savage squirrles that were doing their damndest to break into the bag. That accomplished, I headed for the final suspect, but he fled at the sight of me, as well he should. I am sure I coulda kicked that two foot high foxes butt man ! I sure showed him who's boss of the woods.

Morning, of the third day. I have not slept since I was defending my territory from the predators that lurked around our campsite. I felt like one big itch, and I am sure that dirt covering me is permanent. We left.

Ahhh the fond memories. They will live on forever.

Makes Me See Red

2006-04-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

Now, I have enough laundry to do as it is with a 4 person family, two of them school age. Is it absolutely impossible of me to ask that when putting clothes in the hamper they be :

Not Inside Out !

Not One Leg In and One Leg Out !

Not Clothes That I Know For A FACT, Have Not Been Worn, Just Ended Up On The Floor !!

And, Not All Stuck Together, Like You Miraculously Slid Out Of Your Clothes And Left Them Looking Like A Dressed Person Just With No Body !

Oh Yes, I forgot one....... AND PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO HIDE THE STAINS.

Maybe it is just me, I dunno. But I do not want to turn your underwear right side out, or your sweaty socks, even if you are my family. And why should I have to pull apart your socks from your pants from your underwear from your shirt. Which I still cannot figure out how you do that.

Sure I am not working, and should not complain about little things. But it is little things that will land me in the nut house I am sure.

Maybe, you guys think that I am bored, and are trying to add a little challenge to my life. See how fast I can get at figuring out the laundry puzzle.

WELL STOP IT !!!!!

Maybe I am already halfway ready for the looney bin, because I caught myself singing this while putting a load in this morning :

The work sock connected to the white sock
The white sock connected to the sweat pants
The sweat pants connected to the underwear,
And they're all turned inside out !

Holy Crap

2006-03-31T07:20:00.000-08:00

I woke up looking like this today.

I mean it looks like a rat or something was sucking on my hair. I have no idea what I was doing in my sleep last night, but sure as H.E. double hockey sticks, was not in my favour !

I could call this mornings beautifying process " The Taming Of The Shrew".

Spring Has Sprung

2006-03-23T13:23:00.000-08:00

When I walked outside today, it was wonderful. I took a deep breath of fresh air, that had the smell of spring.

That smell is of renewed life. Birds were singing their praises, nests busily being built in anticipation of new life.

The grass, still brown from its' winter sleep, shone like spun gold in the sunlight.

Little bugs began to make their way out from their winter seclusion. Searching for their first catch of the day.

Oh, and the people. There is something about Spring that shines in peoples faces. The nods and smiles of hello as passerby. A softened look in their eyes as yard work starts to take place.

Everyone seems happier, relaxed, and more at ease.

I love spring,

Leave It To My Son

2006-03-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's question of the day from my son.....

" Are weiners animal weiners or people weiners?"

Yup, that's my boy.......

Shaping the Future

2006-03-19T13:32:00.000-08:00

In my 30 years, I have just come to realize how much of your upbringing and life events, account for who you are today. I know that probably sounds naive, but c'est la vie.

I have recently undergone alot of self discovery. Finding that our lives are constantly shaping, re-shaping, moulding, and changing.

What I think though is that humanity as a whole has never been granted tools of knowledge to do the best we can with our own personal coping and communicating. We are doing the best we can with what we know. It all comes down to one of the first memorable lessons in life : treat others as you wish to be treated.

I think, if that was a commonly practice trait, today's problems may vanish before our very eyes.

Imagine a world full of respect, and kindness and honesty. All the rest would follow naturally.

Let's not leave our children to struggle in a cold, miserable future of insecurity, disrespect, ruthlessness, humiliation, and silence. Let's educate ourselves with tools of life in order to mould the lives of our future with an example of how life should be lived.

With : happiness, satisfaction, rights, respect, care and love. We have the power within our selves to make each day the best it possibly can be. Even with struggles, it is how we choose to handle the toughness that life can sometimes throw our way. And what we choose to take away from each lesson in life, the positive or the negative.

Let's choose today to take the positive. And start living life to the fullest, as we all deserve.

Why Do They Do That ?

2006-03-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

So, do all kids do this, or just mine ? Errgh.

All week before spring break, the kids had been hounding me to take them to Polson Park. So finally on Monday, the first day of Spring Break, deciding that I was the best mom ever, I called my friend and made plans to meet her at the park with her son too. Excited to suprise my kids, I did not tell them what we were doing. Instead I just told them to get ready. When we were ready, I announced that we were "Goin' To The Park !!!"

You know what I got ...... " Awww I don't wanna go to the park... " and " Me either"

So my solution...... " Well we are going to the park and you're going to like it ! " "You hounded me all week to go there, and we finally are going to go, and you complain !"

Good Eh ! - NOT.

Then my daughter asked to bring the soccer ball with us...... it sounds weird but I was infuriated !!!! ( I can never make my daughter get outside and play soccer at home, in our huge bakyard, the answer is always " That's boring" )

EEERRRRRGGGHHH

So my answer ..... " NO, I am not driving all the way into town, to take you to a playground, so you can not play on any of the stuff, and kick a ball around, when I could stay home and you could kick it around here just as well ! " " WE ARE GOING TO THE STUPID PAAARRKKK "

Sounds like fun to me !!!!!

So needless to say, my forcing them did not work so well, they lasted at the park about an hour before I sped out of the parking lot, my fists gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white.

After the hour of playing, intermixed with comments of " I'm Hungry" " I'm Bored" " Is it time to go ?" " I'm cold" " I'm Thirsty" " Can we go out for lunch ?" and "I have to Pee"

I gave up.

New Beginning

2006-03-10T07:21:00.000-08:00

Looking left, looking right,
What I see, is a lonely night.

A night of thoughts, a night of wonder,
Rumbling like, a night of thunder.

The day ahead, yet uncharted.
I surge ahead, heart still guarded.

For now I know, life is to live.
Free to soar, free to give.

Gotcha !

2006-03-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

My dog is a natural born mouser, however he has just added another prey to his repetoire.... yes... that's right....a cutie little bird.

Needless to say I was a little bit shocked when I found out, but I guess it makes sense when it is in your blood.

I have a Yorkie/Silky Terrier. Just the word Terrier is enough to send small animals scurrying. They were used to control mice in the old days. But the instinct is still very much alive. Buddy has indeed caught his share of mice, with a prowess you would expect on the African Plains. He has no interest in toying with his kill, his intenet made clear. Kill it, drop it, move on.

When my son came in and told me that Buddy had netted himself a bird, I was suprised. The poor bird did not really have a chance, it was one we were watching throughout the day, because it was having trouble flying, something was wrong. Soooo, Buddy thought he would take advantage of the weak link, and WHAMO. Bye Bye Birdie.

That is all fine and dandy, except that this was yesterday and today he has asked to be let out constantly, I couldn't figure it out, until I went outside to tell him to stop barking..........

There he is, staring up at the neighbours bird house, the birds staring back at him. Barking madly at them, waiting for his moment. Sigh.

Don't Feed The Animals

2006-02-14T07:19:00.000-08:00

Cute Pic Eh !

Although, don't think them as cute as they seem. They can be as stealthy and effecient as a pack of wolves.

Goats know no mercy !

You may seem to think that I have pent up aggression towards these softy little animals... well I have reason.

It all began when.........

It was a beautiful summer day, a light breeze blew in the air. We were enjoying a beautiful day at a very nice game farm. Strolling along, viewing wonderous wild animals. The fun ended as the day at the game farm came to a close. Being the animal lover that I am, I could not pass up the chance to feed the free ranging little herd of farm goats. I purchased my bag of goat feed and stood enjoying myself immensely. Then, tragedy struck, I had only a handful of the feed left.... I tossed it in the air to ensure that all had a fair shot at the last bit. The goats seemed to sense that something was amiss. That damn lady is running out of feed ! We'll show her !

I turned to make my way to our car, as I was walking I could sense that I was being followed. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed this thought. 24 eyes were peering at my intently, 48 hooves clicking at the backs of my heels. Then, before I knew what was happening, they struck. I was butted in the rear ! I quickened my pace, but they were no match for me they kept after me, the herd mentality taking over. Butted reppeatedly as I ran, nearly tripping with every pace. Do not fall, that would be the end, was all I kept telling myself.

I began to run, through the parking lot, an entire herd of goats at me heels, ba-aaing, butting, jumping. People stopped in shock as they watched my pursuit. I made it to the car but they were already on me, I had no time to get in. So I leaped up onto the car as best I could ( as it was an old stupid honda civic that has no actual trunk to get up on ! )
My butt clinging to car, feet on the bumper, I was surrounded. They had me cornered. Hooves and Heads were mauling me everywhere. At one point I came face to face with one of them, and stared directly into its weird little eyes, its warm grainy breath on my face. I was butted in the stomache, the wind leaving me in a final whoosh. I was doomed.

Then it was over as fast as it began. As one, they turned and headed back towards their barn, to await their next foolish victim.

They are strong, they are keen, they are goats !

You can imagine my humiliation at being marauded by a heard of goats...... to this day I sometimes think I can hear the clicking of hooves at my feet, and have to control the urge to scramble to safety.

True Story !

Sheer Bliss

2006-02-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

The ice was hard and glistening like glass. The zamboni just finished another round of perfecting the surface. All around me was the smell of ice. As I laced my skates I imagined the delicate sweeping moves I would make as I glided gracefully around the rink...... NOT !

If only that were true, but in my case, nothing can be classified as "delicate".....

Not using my internal mothering instincts, I decided to play "chicken" with my son. Now for anybody who does not know what "chicken" is, it is when two people race towards each other and see who veers away first (the chicken) to avoid the crash. Not only did I decide to play this, I have never told my son ( who is only 6 ) about this game. You can probably guess what's coming.

Well, we have established that I am not a great skater, have gone against mother nature and decided to play a dangerous game, and have not explained any of this to my son. Sounds good eh !

At the speed of light we came barreling towards each other, everything seeming in slow motion. I turn.... Chase turns.... INTO ME. And you hear in a deep slow motion movie voice " No-oo-oo-oo" WHAMO !

The End

Ahh, Real Entertainment

2006-01-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

I have realized that children do not have an appreciation for the performing arts. Not with all the gadgets and technology we have anyway. Something has gotten lost along the way.

I was a drama student and was involved in 2 or three productions a year throughout high school, including one at our local theater. I was also in a Jazz Ensemble.

Children on the other hand...... well...... I decided to take mine to a performance called "The Missing Picture" my daughter, loved this idea, my son however, insisted that it was Boring. We had not even left the house yet. He said he liked going to the movies better.... even though he had not been to this kind of thing before. I told him it was like a movie, but Better ! There were real people ..... but... that is Boring..... urrgh.

I never thought that hearing a word repeated over and over could have that effect on me. I found myself reverting back to "the old school" parenting, and caught myself saying " If I hear you say boring one more time, so help me, I am going to take you to the truck." Followed with the winner of the day, " Don't make me make you cry in front of all these people, just be quiet and like it ! "

Yup - and the parenting of the year award goes to..........

This is all before the play even started. Oh yes, I forgot, that while we were leaving my children were devastated to find out that you don't eat treats at a theater like you would at the movies......what kind of deal is that !

Finally, the house lights are dimmed, the stage lights ready. I wait in anticipation for that first line. The curtain opens.... I look over and my children are riveted !!!!!

And to my extreme pleasure - the moral of the story is that your imagination and stories are much better than any TV !

.... even though Chase insisted after, that is WAS boring, this time he had a little smile on his face that said, I had a great time, I just don't like being proved wrong.

HA !
I WIN !

I Don't Understand

2006-01-27T00:10:00.000-08:00

I am not politically savy, nor fully informed of all worldy things. However, reading election results today shocked me. The first Palestinian Parlimentary Election in over a decade was held, and to what end ?

After many peoples, countries, missionaries, volunteers etc. have spent their time and life devoted to encouraging democracy and a nation without violence, the Palestinians were given a voice.

Elected was Hamas, an Islamic Millitant Group. Hamas has long claimed that it's committed to the obliteration of the Jewish state and has long rejected the idea of negotiation.

Palestinian and Israeli children are the ones left to suffer and clean up after each generations mistakes. War and ethnic hate are all that these children have lived with. They know no other life. As I am sure the generation previous to them was raised in the same fashion. No doubt , this goes back far longer than anyone would care to think.

I just cannot imagine having a choice after so many years of oppression, and then opting for hate and violence.

Where does it end ?

Ok, So I've Got A Track Record !

2006-01-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, it is time for me to finally admit that I cannot bake !

Cooking is not such a problem - but baking, well that is another story. I am suprised that I have not made someone ill yet. Well, maybe I have and they just were nice enough not to blame it on my culinary prowess.

I will now confess all my sins......

Once I made these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. They looked like they should be in the window showcase of a bakery. I was sooo proud. That is until I found that you could chip your teeth on them. Or have a wonderful game of hockey. Not to be dismayed, I tried again. I should have just quit after the first batch - but oh no, I must prove myself. HA. Well... this time they did not look so good. They did not fare so well at all. After about 3 min. in the oven I could smell burning... Impossible ! I thought. Yeah Right. Upon looking in my oven window I was greeted with the sight of a cookie sheet puddled up with butter, and pretty little chocolate chips floating around in their buttery little pond. After pouting I gave up cookie baking.

Then there was the time that I made Cheesecake ! I was kind of scared after the whole cookie thing so I played it safe, and bought a box mix. No One can screw up a box mix right ? Well somehow I managed. After completed ( it was a bakinging one ) I presented it to my husband knowing it is his favourite indulgence. I was absolutely beaming with pride, it was beautiful, a masterpeice. Then the dreaded question came as I watched his face cringe and wrinkle up while still trying to smile kindly at me and resist spitting it out. "How much salt did it call for hon ?" he asked while lunging for a glass of water. " Well none sweety, there is no salt in it." It slowly started to register what I had done. Yeah. Well I kinda mixed up the sugar with the salt...... 1 cup and a half of it..... Need I say more ?

Co-workers always seem to think that this is friggin hilarious, and cannot wait to see what I will bring to a baking party or get-to-gether ! So I decided to proove them all wrong. Gawd, why do I do this to myself.

It was a co-workers birthday and I made this strawberry chocolatey cakey kind of thing that needed to be chilled after. Well, knowing my history, maybe it was not a good idea to be drinking and trying to get ready for the party as well as bake. Needless to say when I opened the freezer after said amount of time chilling, I had created the leaning tower of pisa, that when slightly shifted slid across my freezer........ $%#!@.

I stopped and 7-11 and bought chips and pretzles - and yes - everyone had a good laugh, because they knew what must have happened.

I have many many more stories like this but I am kind of depressing myself - ha ha ha.

However, I would like to know.... is there some godamned magic word to make a cake come out of the stupid pan once it has cooled ?

Or, is there a special school for decorating cakes, because the one time a cake turned out, AND I left it in the pan, rather than having to pass off my "chocolate chunk cake" that you ice individual chunks as you eat it. I GOT TO THE DECORATING PART - WHOO HOOO ! I presented my bakery success only to have them say. Awww how nice, you let the kids decorate it........ this is when they were 6 and 3 years old !!!!

For a baking exchange someone conviced me that Sugar Cookies are the simplest to make. I know they were trying to be helpful, knowing my condition and all, but GEEZE, were they trying to kill me ! Gawd - you have to separate eggs, whisk stuff, fold, roll out. Well at 10pm, after not even getting past the dough part and my kitchen looking like someone kicked the flour bag around, and globbed bits of dough on every surface. I ran to Save On Foods and bought 11 dozen sugar cookies. Yeah - that was an expensive cookie exchange, and I had to endure the friendly we are laughing WITH you not AT you. Yeah Whatever- I am not stupid. Now eat your friggin cookies !

Now that I have confessed my culinary sins, I guess I must go and say 500 Hail Martha's.

2006-01-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

She weeps like dew off a petal
Wails like wind in the trees.

She reflects like a moonlit pond
Dreams like cotton in the breeze.

She glows like the embers of a fire
Struggles like a ship in the seas.

She lives like angels in harmony
Living life only to please.

Drawing : Rachael "Lil Pixie" Evans

Where Did It Go

2006-01-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

Where did it go ?

Somehow I seem to have misplaced my inspiration... as eveidenced by my lessend blog enteries. I think I may have discovered the answer today though.

Somewhere between the dirty dishes and constant drying out of snowpants, coats, mittens, touques, scarves, and even socks and pants ( because somehow kids end up soaking wet from the waist down even though thoroughly waterproofed ) and kids going back to school, I realize that it is all over.

I am weakened and feeble, from the pine needles that refuse to be vacumed out of my carpet, to the last $%@# fat filled buttertart that innocently found its way into my mouth.

I seem to carry about me a smell that is a cross between a pine forest and vanilla dryer sheet mixed with slight perspiration ( oops I forgot, women to do perspire, we glisten. )

My house is too quiet, there are no kids battling with the new Light Sabers, there is no electric gadgets going off, I am not tripping over the new leggo and speed bead machine.

It is amiss.

For something that I look forward to from summer on, it seems to have come and gone in a blur.

But, I must continue on. Martha Stewart did not give up while she was in the slammer, so I too must fight the good fight. I must remain positive that shortly my house will return to normal, back to loud and crazy kids. Dog barking. Dirty clothes hidden behind their dressers. Playdough stuck to the ceiling.

I must remain positive, for the day will soon come.

Happy Times

2006-01-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

I got to see my buddy over Christmas holidays !!! :)

I was so excited. I knew that for her to make time to come visit me was difficult, as making the rounds with family is lots of visiting in of itself.

Have you ever had one of "those" friends. T he only way I can describe it is as " friends at first sight". She came into my life when I needed a friend more than she will ever know. It felt like an instant connection that you knew was true friendship, and would not fade. When I found that she was moving ( a year ago now ) I was sad, yes, for me. We had only met shortly ago and had not hung out nearly enough yet. Selfish I know, but true. On the otherside, I could not be more happy for her, because I knew it was what she was waiting for. True love, and a nice city ! Not to mention getting out of our Hell Hole workplace, and landing what sounds like, the perfect job.

Since the big move, we have talked ( via email ) almost every day. Even though, what could we possibly have to talk to each other about every day that is new? That's just it, it does not have to be a landmark discussion, as with all true best friends, it can be about practically nothing, or the most important things of all.

I am so happy that I got to see her again in person, and wish her and her love all the best for the new year. Happiness, health, and continued love.

Next time - it is my turn !
Cya in the big city Sista :)

Christmas Spirit

2005-12-15T07:56:00.000-08:00

I would like to share with you, the Christmas card that my 9 year old daughter made for us last night.

Needless to say, once reading it, tears in my eyes, a warm glow filled my heart. I have done well. The meaning of Christmas, in a child's eyes, portrayed better than most adults could.

Please enjoy ....

" Merry Christmas Family "

May your holidays remind you of these Christmas things :
The sound of carols, the smell of cookies and the warmth of us being together !!! "

That's MY little girl !!!

Mission Complete

2005-12-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

This message will self destruct in 20 seconds....

Agent mom reporting in, mission " Clean Sweep" is now complete and secure. Details of operation are as follows :

Upon weeks of surveillance it was apparent that I was going to have to go in. The situation was hot, and the timing was crucial. I waited for the suspect to attend grade one, giving me an open window of oppotunity. I had to move fast.

Armed with only a garbage bag and two 3 drawer storage bins, I made my way into the field. It was a disaster area. If I didn't know better, I would have suspected that a bomb had detinated in there.

I began with the removal of the dreaded McDonalds toys, with caution I dug through the heaps firing them into the bag as I went. All the while keeping an eye on time. Next it was onto the broken, spare, or extra parts of unidentifiable objects. They were handled like any live round, and disposed of appropriately.

Then there was an un-planned for glitch in the operation. Barefoot, I managed to somehow impale myself with a leggo. I had to bite my lip in order to stiffle a scream of pain, after all, I did not want to draw attention.

It was not over there. Hopping around in pain, I discovered what I had been looking for, the prized collection of marbles. However the situation was not contained at that point, resulting in more stabbing pain and a slipping incident.

I was not to be discouraged, I could do this, it is what I had spent all those years in training for. I was not leaving the field until mission "Clean Sweep" was a success.

I moved onto the "hot wheels", they were everywhere. I would have to say that that was a containment problem, but in the end they had to succumb.

Next, was, under the bed. A simple yet effective covert hiding place for all weapons of choice. Cap guns, trucks, clothing, balls, even a peice of cardboard......

Sweat was beading off of me. Arm muscles on fire. I had never encountered a mission quite like this before. I have learned alot, and will be better prepared if another situation should break out.

That is all the report at this time, over and out.

......10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...........
message destruct
message destruct
message destruct
....

Decorating The Family Christmas Tree !

2005-12-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

The Tree is now done ! Although I have to say it was quite an effort this year.

I am in charge of putting on the lights, garland, and angel. The kids then put on the decorations.........

Each and every year I TRY to sit casually back on the couch with my rum and eggnog, whilst enjoying the merriment of my beautiful children decorating the tree. YEAH RIGHT. I am way too anal. Poor kids.

There I am hawking over them, telling them where to put each and every decoration, and that we cannot put the ones they made on the tree because, because, because well those are special and I do not want them to break. Phewwf thought of that in time. I barter with them and we agree that I will place their decorations throughout the house.

This year however, I was determined to butt out..... and you know what .. I DID !

Kids love to decorate the tree.... I sat there enjoying them. On the edge of my seat. Silently biting my nails to the quick, and inside my head re-decorating the tree. But, I stayed put.

Watching them ever so delicately place the fragile decorations on the very very tip of each branch so that it is barely hanging, you do not want to breathe next to the tree for fear of all the decorations teetering onto the floor. Then there is the pretty effect of hanging the same colors next to each other in bunched groups. Did you know that you can fit 4 "ball" ornaments on one branch, well you can ! I especially love the festive conversation between brother and sister. I can just feel the love I tell ya.

" Ch-a-a-se ! move outta my way, I was in this spot first !"
"No you weren't ! and anyways you're not the boss of me !"

"Chase ! Move ! You're doing it wrong ! "
" NO I'M NOT... Muuumm, Kayla said I'm doing it wrong"

Then, the inevitable crunch of someone stepping on a decoration. The crying, the blood, the laughing of the other sibling that did not get hurt. The one that did get hurt screaming "It's not Funny !" The band-aids. The chocolate bribes to get everyone to settle down.

After about 95 hours the christmas tree is decorated. The children stare in awe at their masterpiece. Inside I am cringing and refrainging from moving everything.

There, I did it ! No interfering on my part whoo-hoo !!!!!!!! Until they go to bed anyway. LOL.

The Pain

2005-12-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

I don't know what in the heck I did to my neck, but it feels like I was in that pose all night or something !

My gawd, I can't even turn my head. You should see what a joke it is for me to look at something..."mom, look over there, a pheasant !" By the time I am looking there after having to turn my whole body, I say "Where, Where !" Mu-um it's already long gone. geeze.

Yup, tried to put on my coat this morning to attempt taking out the garbage YEAH. The whole little chore took me about 1/2 hr and required quite imaginative ways of sliding into my coat and getting it up onto my shoulders without being able raise my arms. Then having to drag the garbage can down the driveway. Needless to say once I was done, I was sweating, despite the fact that it is - 6 celsius outside...... Then I Had To Get My Coat OFF.

I sneezed this morning and I think I might have actually broke my neck and it gave me a seizure I'm sure. I can't laugh without searing pain, I don't look forward to brushing my teeth. And I am NOT going to have fun in the shower.

In fact, this entry is just about killing me. Every letter typed is like a knife sticking me, so you better appreciate this $%#&^@# entry.

PS - I slept sitting up on the couch last night as I could not even lay down, because I could not pick up my head which felt like a cement block filled with white hot pain. So I am a teeny bit tired and grouchy.

Should be a long day..... ha ha ha

Literacy

2005-11-30T11:59:00.000-08:00

I volunteer some time at my childrens' school to assist with the "One to One Reading Program" This is great because it allows one on one attention each day for developing reading skills.

I know that illiteracy is a problem that is occuring too often and needs attention. I guess I was being naieve when I thought it was not so prevalent here but more in the U.S.

My eyes have been opened today, and I vow to do even more to help, however I can, if only in little ways.

Reading and English has always been a sort of easy subject for myself . I love to read, and my mom spent time with me as a young child and encouraged my literacy.

I have done the same with my children, both ahead of their ages in their reading ability. I am volunteering in my sons grade one class. So I know to expect various diffrent levels of abilities. However, at first I was dismayed that many of the children did not yet understand how to sound out a word, relying mostly on memorization of their little reader book. Any variation, and the word was often missed. I discussed with my husband , questioning why the could not sound out yet, he suggested maybe that this was just where Chase was ahead, and they would be geting into that more later. They are concentrating on a few words a week, as recognition.

Well, today I got an even bigger surprise, I said I could stay longer today if she would like me to help out with anything else. That would be great she said. There are a couple of students who need work with their letter sounds. So I took them into a room, armed with flash cards. Inside thinking, sheesh how do you get out of kindergarten not knowing what sound each letter makes. Well, as we were going through the cards I was heartbroken to see that not only were they having trouble knowing the sounds to all of the letters, but some of the letters they had difficulty identifying.

My heart went out to these poor children who sat squirming and avoiding my eyes when they got to a letter that they did not know what it was. They know they are supposed to know it already, how insecure it must make them feel. These children need our help. This will only lead to them wanting to hide the fact that they don't know or understand something, in any subject. And this is how they can slip through the cracks.

This is purely the fault of childrens "home figure" time should be spent ensuring that children are armed with what they need in todays society. It makes me mad that kids should have to suffer because someone does not take the time to be with them at home.

Not all children are the best at everything, but they are all capable.

I have volunteered now to make new flash cards for the class that not only show the letter but have a picture indicating the sound and underlining the letter sound in the word. I fully understand how some children learn differently, requiring pictures, or rhymes in order to remember. This is where caregivers need to be involved in their childs education. One teacher cannot teach 5 differents ways of learning to 20 different kids, she can do only the best for everyone, and hope for as much help from their home as possible.

Please, this is a plea to all families and caregivers. Tonight when you get home from that long day of work, or finally finish all the household work. Be with your child, really be with them, don't shuffle them aside because the news is on, or you need to unwind. I have found that the best way to unwind is playing with my children. You can make it fun, they are learning the whole time. Play a game of cards, do a puzzle, paint a picture, sing a song, Read A Book. And most importantly , be proud.

Arrgh

2005-11-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

SIGH.....

HOW DO BOYS MANAGE TO COME HOME LOOKING LIKE THEY ATE AN ENTIRE SANDBOX - EVEN WHEN THERE IS ONLY GRASS........

Murder

2005-11-23T10:46:00.000-08:00

Well, that didn't take me long - I KILLED it. Yup, it is a gonner. For those of you who do not recognize the character in the picture, it is my Venus Flytrap that I was so excited about getting.

DEAD

That sure did not take me long to kill. No sir ! I mean c'mon, you don't even have to really even water the poor thing and I managed to still kill it ! Yup, anybody who doesn't want a plant any longer, just hand it on over to me. I'll be sure and take care of that sucker for ya. Just gimme a month or two tops. It'll be dead as a doornail.

PS - doornail is a real word, I just looked it up because I was wondering where the heck that saying came from. So, a bit of non useful crappola for you :

If you hammer a nail through a piece of timber and then flatten the end over on the inside so it can’t be removed again (a technique called clinching), the nail is said to be dead, because you can’t use it again. Doornails would very probably have been subjected to this treatment to give extra strength in the years before screws were available.

So, there !

Anyways, back to me being a murderer.... it would not be so bad if I did not seem to do this regularly. Why do I even keep getting the plants ???? I wonder If it is some kind of weird outlet for me to unleash my inner beast. Boy , that's heavy.

Well, at least this one did not seem to suffer a long death, I was able to kill this one off quite quickly.

Never Alone

2005-11-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

Once upon a dream I had,
I felt you take my hand.

You came to me when need was great,
From the Promised Land.

Your touch was warm and gentle,
your voice a melodic song.

With your hand and mine,
There could be no wrong.

Safe and protected,
Always by my side.

I learned that night,
to never fear.

For you are always near.

Oh To Be 9 Again

2005-11-21T07:23:00.000-08:00

Kids have it sooo great !
My daughters birthday was over the weekend, and man it looked like fun.

I don't get to dress up like a diva princess and go to dinner and a movie. I would probably be arrested if I did.

No one looked at her and thought...geeze she is just one brick short... noooooo that would happen to me.

Why do we have to grow up and loose out on all the fun stuff too. Isn't it bad enough that we have to work, pay bills, be responsible for the shaping of our children, cleaning, shopping ... I could go on and on.

In fact, why don't WE get to have toys or fun stuff in our fast food. Why is theirs called a "Happy" meal, and ours our just "Biggie This" or "Jumbo That" Why don't we get a paper crown , and our meal in a cardboard ship.

I could never get away with licking the ketchup out of the little ketchup package thingy. Nor could I make funny noises loudly in public and not have people think that I have Teretz Syndrome.

Since when does growing up mean we lose out on all the stuff that was fun.

That's It - for my next birthday, I am having Diva Day. We are dressing up (feather boas and all ), having a teaparty, seeing who can burp their a,b,c's , and we will all be wearing those giant candy diamond rings !!! !!!

First Snow !

2005-11-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

This morning was the first snow !!!
I was just as excited as the kids.

I remember, as a child waking up, my morning bleary eyes checking the window in hopes that it might have snowed overnight to find that it had ! I would then grab anything edible to eat as quickly as I could so I could race outside and breathe that first breath of clean crisp snow. There is nothing like it.

Today was perfect, my children gleefully (although quite loudly) woke me to tell me the exciting news. So I whipped up a batch of pancakes as fast as I could as the children got dresses.

So far so good.....

After breakfast, I pull out the winter clothing bin to find that children have grown leaps and bound, like kids insist on doing. Therefore nothing fits. Ahhhhhh but as a mother there must be a solution to everything.

"OK" I said. " Give me a minute to think this through."

*Solution *
Daughter : 2 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of sweatpants, sweatshirt, jacket, MY ski gloves. DAD's hiking boots tied as tightly as possible. And a touque that came out of box of Canadian.

Son : 1 pair of socks ( hey I was lucky to even get those on him), fleece pants, fleece shirt, wettish proof spring jacket, MYstretchy gloves and KAYLA's old rubber boots. Oh yes, and anoter touque that came out of a box of Canadian.

So needless to say they changed clothes at least 4 times today. But to see them outside, playing in the fresh ssnow as kids do :

hitting each other in the head with snowballs, facewashes, wrecking your siblings snowman, and then retaliate by wrecking their snowfort. Multiple times of tattle taling about who put snow down whos neck of their jacket.

Ahhhhhhh The Good Old Days

High Fives

2005-11-10T10:06:00.000-08:00

I was "tagged" but not sure what I am doing. Have not done this before. So If I screwed it Up, I am sorry.......

High Fives

Five Favourite Movies :

1. Christmas Vacation
2. Harry Potter
3. Emperors New Groove
4. The Story Of Us
5. Pay It Forward

Five Things I Can Never Live Without :

1. My Children
2. My Dog
3. Water
4. Food
5. True Love

Five Favourite Celebrities :

1. Charlize Theron
2. Hilary Swank
3. Johnny Depp
4. Morgan Freeman
5. ???

Five Things I Miss :

1. Bandit
2. Myself
3. Nicole
4. Good Old Times
5. Having A Dad

Five Things I Plan To Do In Near Future :

1. Get Active
2. Some Kind Of New Career Move
3. Bake
4. Resolve Old Matters
5. Spend More Time Savouring Life

Last Movie Borrowed And Have Yet To Return :

None

Five Favourite Books :

1. The Bourne Identity Series
2. The People Of ... Series
3. One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
4. Tuesdays With Morrie
5. Of Mice And Men

I will now Tag :
Judi
Nicole
Kelly

What Fun

2005-11-08T08:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever tried to take a fish to school ?
Well, I just did ....... let me tell you, that was quite a trip. In fact, I am not quite sure that it will be returning.

My daughter, playing a game of some kind of "learning" monopoly at school, won. Her prize.....she was able to bring an animal to school that could sit on her desk ( stuffed or alive)

Now HELLO ! What kid is going to picked a stuffed animal over a real one if given a choice. You don't give them choices, gawd. Don't we al know that. Well apparently the teacher, in her infinite wisdom does not,

So after trying to convince my daughter that it is not easy to take such a thing to school (especially since the thing is half dead anyway - this I did not mention) I finally gave up. "Fine. We'll drive it to school - But you're holding it."

Now ours is in a bowlish thing just like pictured. Looks great right, does not travel so great. Especially when you are a few minutes behind schedule and must maintain a speed of 85.

We are not even halfway to school when my daughter starts bawling and saying mommy it's dead. I said that not to worry it likes to swim on its side. Do you think that worked?

Then the first big corner came. Uh-huh, you can alllllll see what is coming next I am sure. Out sloshes a puddle of water on my kids pants, making her cry more. She is telling me to pull over now, that the fish cannot survive the waves. I said, in all my great wisdom, " Are you kiddin, I bet she loves it." "I bet she is saying right this moment : Whoo Hoo Ride The Waves !" My answer from her : " BUT SHE IS SIDEWAYS MOM.

Well, now I am getting frustrated by the whole thing becuase I am the one who said it is hard to bring in the first place. Now being as smart as I am, I decide to argue and lash out at my nine year old crying daughter. YEAH, Good Move.

" Well, I am not turning this car around now, I told you it was not easy to bring, now knock it off before I stop this vehicle and just dump her out ."

SMOOTH.

So now my son decides he is going to help out my poor daughter with the sideways surfing fish, and her now soaked pants. Every corner, bump, slight variation in the road is being commentated by him, just before it happen so that my daughter is prepared for the sudden happenings.

We are coming to the last stop sign before school, when my daughter say from the backseat : "Don't come to a screeching halt, please mom."

Is that a testament to my driving or what !

All I can say is : just remember It is not easy taking a fish to school.

Stories

2005-11-05T17:18:00.000-08:00

Have we ever truly given this enough thought ?

We wonder why some people are so screwed up. Maybe it has something to do with our upbringing and the childhood stories told religously by our parents, and then being told "Sweet Dreams" after this nightly routine.

YEAH RIGHT

Let me break it down :

1. Little Red Riding Hood
A young girl is sent out into a dark and scary forest on her own. She is then accosted by a scary wolf, which happens to be male. She manages to escape and proceed to her ailing grammas house. The perp has now bound the old lady and stuffed her in a closet and has disguised himself. Once the young girl arrives he tries to assualt her. Her saviour appears and gives chase, takes justice into his own hands, and kills the wolf.
Moral of the Story : Kill The Bastard

2. The Three Little Pigs
Young adult siblings move from their parents to make it on their own. They find places of their own, on the wrong side of town. It is not long before they are receiving death threats from the leader "up dere in da hood." Being told that "dey ain't gots no rights hangin deyselfs up eere en all dat." So they must flee their homes and head for the "safe" house. Where even there they are not safe. The neighbours band together, take justice into their own hands and decide that boiling up the assailant is the best punishment.
Moral of the Story : Kill The Bastard.

3. Hansel & Gretel
A poor brother and his sister runaway from home because of their father's new woman. They are lost, alone and afraid in the dark forest. They finally come across what they are hoping is a "block parent" house and safety. Little did they know that an old lady with a history of mental illness dwelt inside. She caged the poor children and explained to them that it was the voices telling her to this. That she must boil them and make them into soup. The children hatch a plan and manage to escape, cooking the mentally psychotic woman in her own pot.
Moral of the Story : Kill The Bitch

4. Never Cry Wolf
A juvenile deliquent boy in his teens spends many of his days alone in the woods, plotting his next trick to play on his family and friends. Through " Tough Love" however, the friends and family have been taught to ignore this behaviour, as it was only a plea for attention. The boy finds himself in serious trouble and no one to turn to, thankfully an old hermit spots the boy in trouble and weilding his M16 levels the criminal that is chasing the boy. The criminal once again being a scary male wolf.
Moral of The Story : Kill The Bastard.

And we wonder why there are screwed up people in the world. Night after night we babmboozle our kids with murder, crime, fear, and call them fairytails. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Think of :

Sleeping Beauty : witness protection, (drugs) poisioning, sexual content, murder.
Snow White : abuse, runaway, organ stealing, drugs (poising) violent death.
Cinderella : slavery, abuse, hallucinatory visions,

And many many more.....hee hee hee
Sweet Dreams :)

Trick or Treat

2005-10-31T23:19:00.000-08:00

Now, I know that the origins of Halloween have to do with saints and ghosts of the dead returning to earth and blah blah blah. But you know what ?

I am all about the Candy !

I know this sounds sad, but I am finally able to savour the spoils of Halloween once again. I mean c'mon we have kids for a reason right ?

Don't we all anticipate when our children come of age to go trick or treating because we have passed our years of being able to get by as a "very tall 11 year old". We miss those old days. And not just Halloween, but Easter, Christmas, Valentines Day. Frankly any occasion that warrants our children getting junk - mainly chocolate of course !

Waiting for just that right moment when you can hear them soundly sleeping in their bed, slip into their room, crawling on your hands and knees, feeling for that bag of candy that they thought they stashed so safely under their bed. Little did they know that when you were a child you thought that was the best place to hide your treats.

Now this is no joke, I have been caught before, a couple of Christmases back, raiding my daughters stocking of her m&m's. C'mon - they were M&M's for heavens sake, who can resist.

So, now that I have been "found out" I am marked. Forever a target and carefully watched at every treat giving occasion and for a short time after.

I now must practice extreme caution in these missions. Extreme situations call for extreme measures, I may even have to break out my sons spy vision goggles for my next attempt.

This, for all those parents who pillage and plunder. You know who you are. Please exercise caution, because someday, those little smarty pants figure us out, and it will be all over.

Nothingness

2005-10-28T01:49:00.000-07:00

For those of you who remember, this picture is of "Falcor" a luck dragon. He was a part of the movie "The Never Ending Story"

This movie has stayed with me from childhood. They fought against the Great Nothing that was absorbing the world.

I shall see if I can write an entry about "nothing"

Nothing can fill our very souls,or chill us to our bones.

Nothing surrounds us every day, begging us to look its way. It can seize your heart, mind, and body. Taking over your very life. Once nothing begins its hold, it is a fight for your survival.

I believe that children are the only ones brave and pure enough to fight against the angst of a "nothing" as they dare to believe, to see, without skepticism with out anything but pure innocent eyes. They are not blind to hurt, but fight it head on.

Adults let too many things stand in there way. Choose to view from too many points, analyze when none is necessary.

If we were all free of mind enough to believe in our own luck dragon, maybe we would not feel that "nothing" is eating away at our very existance.

Try to see as a child does - full of color and shades.

Try to hear as a child does - all the world is a song.

Try to feel as a child does - without pre-judgement

When we do we will find that "nothing" will begin to shrink. And that our world will begin to fill, with love, understanding, acceptance.

Nothing, will have lost.

Hook Line & Sinker

2005-10-24T22:39:00.000-07:00

Finally, I got to go fishing again this year. I love to go !
Only this time, there were a couple of, "glitches" I guess you would call them.

Pictured above is "Streak Lake" where the adventure began.

The morning started early, after donning multiple layers of fleece and my prized Nickleback touque (which by the way I am too old to be wearing as I do not look cool in it one bit - but what the hay ! )

Once we hit the road I have a sip of my hot chocolate and carolina's - now don't be getting the wrong idea here.... I only had one - although strong, it was ONE. After all I had a kids halloween party to brace myself for.

Anyways, after an hour and a bit drive ( as read map wrong couple of times ) the boat is about to be lauched. This is where the REAL story begins.

I do not get to drive the boat because apparently that is a "man thing" so as the passenger, I get in last, and push us off as I do such. YEAH RIGHT.

As I contemplate for about 5 full minutes on which leg I am best going to accomplish this with, I am told "Just get in already !" So I go for broke.

Needless to say, I got soaked to mid calf and we did not "push off" at all. So, some guy had to come and push us out. Now for all you fisher people out there please listen up.... PLEASE SAVE US "FLUFFIER" PEOPLE EMBARASSMENT AND DON'T PUT US AT THAT END. Because... as the poor guy was struggling to push us in from my end the boat of course is scraping the rocks on bottom because my BUTT is weighing down that end of the boat !

Finally, out on the lake, I take a deep breath and get the guts up to tell Dean, who is already shaking his head at me, that in all of this goings on, I kinda sorta SAT ON THE FRIGGIN' WORMS !!!.

Both containers are crushed - Boy That Hot Chocolate Is Sure Tasting Good Right Now !

Well now, phewwff. After all that is done, lets get some fishing in. After all that is why we came. So after my spectacular catch of a couple of lunkers it is time to go.

That means time to load up the boat - dun dun daaaaaaa....

I get out of the boat while only soaking myself up to the ankles this time, and put things away in the truck. Dean flips the boat upside down and we each grab a side. LIFT.

Now, I am not in the best shape of my life so I try to make these kinds of things as easy and quick as possible. So what do I do !?

TRIP IN A HOLE IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND THE BOAT FALLS ON ME TRAPPING ME UNDER IT... squirming like a bug. gawd.

I get up as fast as humanly possible and avert my eyes from all who witnessed this spectacle. While finally pushing the boat as far back into the truck as we can, I let go of the heavy sucker...... right onto my fingers !!!! $#%@.

Yes, now we all know why I am not a delicate prima ballerina I guess.
Maybe I am better suited to the Circus ?? :)

Boo !

2005-10-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

The evening was a success ! I was kind of dreading having nine dressed up kids running amok in the house, jacked up on sugar. But it was FUN !

My house was decorated : cobwebs, spiders, skelatons, black lights, ghosts, red lights, spooky music. The whole shebang !

I ( sooo not a baker ) even made cool halloween goodies. I made slime jellow with gummy worms, punch with floating hands in it, fruit and veggie tray shaped into a skelaton, ghost cookies, and bug crackers.

And I even got a touch of ol' Martha in me. Have no idea what came over me. I made tassled bookmarks and had the kids decorated them with halloween stickers and glitter glue. Then after we played stick the wart on the witch's nose, we made handprint spider pictures complete with googly eyes. I had the tell spooky stories, played freeze dance, tried to see who could last the longest with out laughing, all sorts of things.

The kids looked great, and even I dressed up !

The kids went home with their little goodie bag tired, having had fun. My children were happy, the party was a success !

Today I think I will take them to the pumpkin patch to pick out our pumpkins !

I Admit It

2005-10-21T03:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight I made a mistake. It feels awful. But I cannot take it back. All I can hope for is the same understanding that I had when mistakes were being made upon me.

Life is not perfect, it is made up of our success, of our failure, of our interpretation, and of our mistakes.

I do not judge, and nor will I ever. We all came to be, because of the circumstances we were subjected to.

How one can be angered all of the time, for one's choices is beyond me. We all have a choice in life and it is made because we think it is the best at the time. Whether that be true or not remains to be seen. Whether we made a mistake or not, we made it for a specific reason.

Please listen to that reason.

My Wit's End

2005-10-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I am plum out of ideas and the Teachers have only been on strike since October 7th. It already feels longer than summer break !

Maybe that is because it has been raining for what seems like a year strait !

How many things can you do inside before brother and sister inevitably start "play" wrestling which eventually escalates into a test to see who can make the other cry first, while using the bedrooms as the as the "Main Event" ring utilizing the bed pillows, blankets and whatever else they can get their grubby little hands on.

I have already covered : coloring, reading, puzzles, baking cookies, molding clay, painting, computer time, tv time, card games, board games, army men, barbies, giving them an extra bath just to kill time........ any other suggestions.....

Finally, after a zillion days inside, I said out you go, you are not going to melt out there. I guess I got what I deserved....

When called in for dinner I received..... A muddy, sopping, puddle that used to resemble my son. Boys will be boys.

In the boot room, removing every piece of clothing and carrying him at arms length to the tub, he happily chatted about how he "took air" on his bike, and that it was fun to skid through the mud. I could have guessed that part from the back tire spray marks up the back of his coat

Then he and the neighbourhood boys played "army" which of course included belly crawls through the "jungle" and diving into "fox holes"

After that it was the plain ol rainy day pastime of finding all of the worms out on the wet road and seeing how far they can stretch before they snap, and do they really grow a new rest of their body?

My daughter on the other hand graced me with the sound of pre-teen pop music blaring from the karoke machine in her room accompanied by none other than herself. When I give up knocking on her door to tell her dinner is ready I barge in to find a mass of lip gloss, blush, bracelets, eyeshadow, 85 pounds of perfume, and each fingernail a different color.

After 1/2 hr. of washing it all off, we settled down to dinner.

This was 1 day, I wonder what we will do tomorrow ?

A New Calling

2005-10-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

You Guessed It !

I am going to be a Potterer ! ( is that even a word ? )
In other words I have discoverd that I have an inate ability at the pottery wheel. NOT.

First of all, I have to say I Love Wal-Mart ! Without them and having kids as an excuse for trying out all their stuff, I don't know where I would be today.

My big idea for today was to get the "kids" ( yeah right - I think I wanted it more ) A pottery wheel craft set. It is very cool, except one thing. Apparently things marked 8+ yrs means that you are SUPPOSED to be a Master Crafstman !!!

Gone are the days of kids bringing their parents the traditional first ever clay creation of an ashtray. ( you all know you did - even if you knew they did not smoke ) Nowadays kids are getting right to the nitty gritty.

So, I told the kids that mommy had to test it out first in order to figure it out and be able to help them later if they needed it.

Well I soon discovered that I was the one that could have used the help. After about 500 attempts, and clay flying around my kitchen at the speed of light as my pottery wheel ever so delicately transformed my ball of clay into the masterpiece it has become....

A BALL OF CLAY WITH AN OPENING.

We will see how the kids fair tomorow - maybe they will be able to teach me something.
Because Demi Moore in Ghost I am not.

Nature's Game

2005-10-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

The sand beneath my feet crumbles,
I stumble,
and fall.

The wind blows at my body ragingly,
I'm thrown,
and fall.

The sea crashes against me; suffocating,
I choke,
and fall.

The fire licks at the logs; ever reaching closer to me,
I burn,
and fall.

The snow beats at me; stinging my eyes,
I freeze and fall.

To my knees,
To my death.

The forces of life; so symbolic in the hand we are dealt and forced to play. Until somebody wins or loses, Nature's Game

What A Day

2005-10-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

It began like this.... I woke up with a headache.

So I knew I was in for it. I was kind of excited still because my new bed is being delivered today.... well, little did I know that today was going to test my already short patience.

First, I am sure that I have done about 5000 loads of laundry. It is crazy, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to limit the children to two outfits each. That's it. Also I think that I am going to make a rule that we start using paper towel to dry off after a shower, because at the rate I am washing towels, they are going to become mere threads in a weeks time.

Now, onto the kitchen. Has anyone tried to clean oatmeal off a kitchen table when it has sat just long enough to take the kids to the bus stop ? I might as well have gotten a chisel or sandpaper and gave my table a whole new look. I might have to anyway as I discovered (while I was chipping away at oatmeal globs) that someone (kids) had decided that they wanted to use permanent black marker to draw their picture with. Now, when the package says permanent they MEAN permanent.

Let's seee... what did I discover next ? Oh yes ! The Microwave...... I wish my head could turn completly upside down so that when I was scraping the exploded spaghetti sauce that wasn't wiped up right away off the inside top, I could actually see what I was doing.

Then I decided I would relax by vaccuming the bedrooms. WELL, as I was going from one room to the next without bothering to wrap up the cord. I stepped on it. This resulted in the vaccum handle coming crashing down and hitting me in the unmentionables.

Also, have you ever sucked up a marble ....... it isn't pretty.

Then I thought, well I had better unload the dishwasher. Have you ever cleaned that trap thingy out ? How much grosser does it get, besides maybe a hairball in the bathtub drain. I cannot stress enough SCRAPE THE PLATES BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN. The poor thing is not a garborator.

Well, I had better go and scour the bathroom. If there is not a post from me in 48 hrs, please have someone send a plumber !

Polson Park

2005-10-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well, today's the day that my children learned a different side of me...
While on a stroll with my kids at Polson Park, we were at the exact place that the picture shows, these are our japanese gardens. My daughter, curious about nature, saw a water skimmer in the pond, as she bent down to see she slipped and fell into the pond AND split her pants in the backend.

I could not even breathe I was laughing so hard, and here my poor daughter is in wet, now ventilated, jeans !!!

Have you ever tried to explain to a child that it IS indeed funny when someone falls down. This has been a shortcoming in me that I believe I was born with ( as my mother takes great joy in others physical mishaps as well)

Now when a kid trips, falls down, bonks themselves or skins something their immediate reaction is to cry because they scared themselves and are worried that they are hurt, and are kind of embarrased if anyone saw. So while I am keeled over with laughter my poor daughter is on the verge of tears, glancing around to see if anyone saw, and with anger in her voice and all the venom she can muster yells "It's Not Funny !!!" That only seems to promote more laughter in me, and I am about to pass out from lack of air.

Finally, my gales of laughter subside, and I now have to explain that I knew she was not hurt, and that I was not making fun of her. Yeah Right - that went over well. But as things mellowed out and it almost seem to be forgotten, I could not help but murmer "Well, it was funny" I could not just leave things be.

Even to this day I can remember various situations in which I could be of no use to anyone for laughing at someone falling, tripping, or something of the like. This does not mean that I am not concerned, or empathetic, but I mean c'mon IT IS FUNNY.

I can replay those events in my mind and catch every detail of the suprised bunging eyes, the contorted face, the body flailing about. How could you not laugh ??

Do I have issues ??? I blame my mother for this trait !!!! - LOL