Dirty Jobs

There is a program on Discovery Channel called "Dirty Jobs". The host of the show visits and tries some of the most "dirty" jobs around. Things like, Septic Tank Cleaner, Pig Inseminator, Exterminator, just to name a few. However, I have noticed that he has repeatedly missed one of these "dirty jobs" that is, Parent.

Yup, I said Parent. Scoff if you will, but I am one and I am here to vouch that it can be the dirtiest of all jobs.

It all begins in the first few days of bliss with your newborn baby ( bliss, who am I kidding ! ) You are lovingly staring into your baby's eyes as you change the tiniest little diaper you have ever seen, when they choose that exact moment to pee in your face.

Or how about the time you are in a store with your toddler, so proud that you no longer have to carry a diaper bag, extra clothing, and all the gear. And as your child runs merrily in front of you, you notice something drop out of their pant leg. Only to discover in horror that they have #2'd in their pants.

Maybe, it is about the time you found out that diapers are not leak proof,while you are wearing your new WHITE shirt, nor do they stop the poop from going straight up their back almost to their neck.

Then there are the days when your poor child is sick with the flu, and you spend endless nights cleaning vomit from every surface (including yourself) within a 20ft radius.

Ever tried prying a pea from a child's snotty nose, that can be a pretty dirty job indeed.

And for those of us who are squeamish, there is no handing off the job to another employee, we must deal with the many scrapes, cuts, blood, nosebleeds, gashes and broken bones.

You think that once they have grown into their teenage years that you have made it into the clear, no more "dirtyness". That is until you must sit down with your child and explain the facts of life, in great detail, because they have way more questions than we ever did. If that does not bring about a queasy stomach I don't know what else will.

Yes, Parent. One of the "dirtiest jobs" ever.