That's It For Me !

Sooooo, what happens when you never pay a ticket ? Anyone know. Because I think I got a parking ticket the other day. I know you are all saying to yourselves right now 'she thinks she got a ticket ?' and yes, I am blonde.

Anyhoo, I had been visiting my mom at her work, and when finished, left on my merry way. Jamming out to some righteous tunage like 'Baby Don't Hurt Me, Don't Hurt Me, No More' - oh yeah, everyone knows the one. And it started to rain...... that was the beginning of the end for me.

So I am singing out loud in my vehicle, jerking my head about just like the movie 'Night At The Roxbury' as it is an automatic reaction for EVERYONE I am sure, when that song comes on, anyhoo I digress.

When finally I can no longer see because of the pelting down rain, I do as any responsible driver would do and turn on my windshield wipers.

That's when it happened......

In mid vocal and head shake I see something flap off of my windshield and flutter down the highway behind me and slap some other vehicle in the face........hmmmmmm.

Parking Ticket ? It would be safe to assume as I did not plug the meter. Dumb Ass ! Why didn't I plug the meter !

So now I am sure that they are looking for me. They will never break me ! I won't talk ! I have a family ! PULLLEEAAASSEEEE DON'T SEND ME TO JAAAAILLLLLL - Wahhhhhhhh !

Back After A Loooong Break

Hellllooo Bloggers !!

As you can tell from my previous post.....that is, if you are looking even. It has been 8 months since I have graced you all with my words of wisdom, rants, ideas, and ramblings.

Just when you thought you got rid of me, I have returned ! Not quite sure what caused my little break there, other than 'life', I mean, I think we all go through stages in our life and ebb and flow through certain stages and cycles....... that is just about enough of that philisophical stuff from me !!!

So let's see.... hmmmmm, nope, not much going on in my life right now. Not that there ever was, but I am sure if I think long and hard I will be able to come up with something to jot down.........

.......... okay.. yeah, nothing yet.

...................................................................still thinkin'........

Ah, who am I kidding.

Can't Catch A Break

Sigh..... at this exact moment, I pretty much feel like all fairness and luck has deserted us.

And, at the same time, I feel guilty for feeling that way. Because I know that there are people truly suffering more than I.

But at the same time, I wonder...... Why in the heck can we not seem to catch a friggin' break in life.

By this I mean, that, my husband and I have seemed to struggle since the day we met each other. Nothing has come easy, and everything, at a cost.

And just when I think that we are in a position that things might start looking up.... Life Kicks Us In The ASS !!!

I am tired of this........please take pity on me NOW.

The Darkest Hour

I feel his breath upon my neck,

hot and dark, I wait.

He lurks behind each step I take,

still and cold, I wait.

Closer yet, he is upon me,

numb and scared, I wait.

It is the circle, we have made,

man 'gainst beast, I wait.

Crazy Ol' Lady

Yup, that's right. Crazy Ol' Lady.

So, I have been at my new job for about a month. And as you might remember I used to work at a kennel, and many a blog revolved around the topic of dog poop. Exciting stuff, I know.

Anyhoo, here I thought that working in a natural medicine clinic, all my poo woes were out the window... or flushed down the toilet.... or whatever. Apparently not !

There is this little old lady that comes to the clinic about once a week. And as soon as I see her make her way up the walk. I know I am in for an ear full.

Now I try to be understanding, I really do. BUT C'MON !!! Just because I work in a clinic does not mean that I have the right or need to hear the most personal stories of your health. I am the friggin' receptionist.

Do I have a sign posted on my forhead or something that says : " Please, tell me all about your hairy growth on the side of your neck." Or any other number of ailments.

I digress. So back to the old lady making her way up the walk... well, she cornered me. And in her innocent little old lady way, proceeded to tell me that she had 30 bouts of diahrea that day and that she was just fading away. Please remember that this an old lady, which means that not only was she talking really loud, but repeating herself over and over.

Also, what killed me was it was in "old person speak" It was like this :

"You know Lisa, I've had 30 bouts of 'the diahera' today." Like you might say " the plague" or "the sickness"

Ahhh, sooooo. My shitty situations still prevail. HA HA shitty situations... I crack me up.

I am sure you will hear many a poo tale here yet. Who knows, maybe I will jazz things up with a story about a boil on someones back that burst in the office. Or better yet some weird rash.

Yup, you gotta love em', crazy ol' ladies.

Ahh, Camping

Camping at Keefer Lake got off to a rough start I would have to say. The first thing I did when we got there and registered at the office, was miss the last stair on the way down, fall, and sprain my stupid ankle. It STILL hurts for cryin' out loud.

But, things got better. Wildlife was in abundance, we saw many deer, hawks, loons, chipmunks. And for the first time ever for me, a grizzly bear and a Moose with her calf !!! Fantastic !!!

The weather was so so, the fishing relaxing as always. The beer never tasted better.

All in all, not too shabby. Even if I did fall down in front of everyone, just about start crying and then swear in front of my kids and limp all weekend.

A Thing Of Beauty

You should have seen me....a thing of beauty, pure grace and elegance.... NOT !!!!

My gawd !

First week of my new job at a Dr.'s clinic and what do I do ?????

In all my daintiness, make my way across the office, gently perch my derrierre ( aka Big Butt ) upon my desk chair and in a move only described as..........

TOTAL COMPLETE BULL IN A CHINA SHOP........ fell off my chair onto the floor with my chair clunking down on top of me.... #@^%!!!$

Oh yeah - in front of everyone of course too !