The Real Reason People Go Deaf

Well, the real reason that people go deaf, is not old age. Oh no no no no, my friends, the real reason we begin losing our hearing is a thing called.....

Summer Break !

Is that word synonomous with children taking it up a billion decibles ?

I have witnessed both of my children in the classroom, sitting quietly, politely waiting etc. But that all seems to go out the window the day the last bell rings, indicating their two months off.

I am sure that while the kids are playing, and they all gang up in their little herd, that the entire neighbourhood can hear them. Regardless of what they may be playing. They could be playing Hide and Seek ( the ultimate in being quiet and sneaky ) and you can hear them a mile away.

Everything seems to get louder : the TV, the Stereo, the talking, the singing, the yelling. Crikey, even the sleeping !!!!!

Along with all this loudness, you feel yourself being sucked up and swallowed by it. Like a nice blade of flowing grass being mowed down by the super charged lawn mower on a Sunday morning at an ungodly hour.

I have finally decided that if you can't beat em' ( literally ) ( no just kidding ) ( I think ) anyways...... if you can't beat em', join em' ! Fight Back I Say !!!!!!

So, I find myself yelling over top of them whenever I may need the attention of someone. Or, stopping the entire herd with a bloodcurdling " HEYYYYYY !!" Just to freeze them in their tracks and nab the ones that are mine.

Then there is the ineviatable meal times that are required at regular intervals, or else they get even louder, whinier, cryier.
This I find a special task on it's own. I have had to develop a certain call with a certain pitch, similar to having to use a hunting call, in order to make myself heard throughout the entire neighbourhood.
As I step out onto my stairs, take a deep breath, And....... "CHAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE....... KAYYYY-LLAAAAAAAA" LUUNNNCHHHHH TIIIIIIME !!!!!

Like I said. If you can't beat em'...... make sure your louder then em'